Friday 10 August 2012

Song Dissection


Have you ever listened to a song, then realised that the lyrics are utter nonsense?  I have.  In fact, I've noticed a startling trend that most artists seem to be talking out of their arse. I understand that some of it can be attributed to artistic expression, but shouldn't our music at least be coherent?  Here’s an example of a particularly bad case, KT Tunstall’s Suddenly I See:



Let’s dissect this song and discover the levels of inexplicable gibberish hidden within:



Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world

- So I can throw away my road atlas and my GPS, and instead use a photograph of KT Tunstall for all my navigational needs?  Google Earth are probably trying to harness the power of her face in order to get live traffic data and up to the minute travel news.

You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light

- That silver pool sounds like leaking Mercury if you ask me.  I wouldn’t leave that unattended.

The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm

- That’ll be the Mercury poisoning.

She holds you captivated in her palm

- And she’s a giant?

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be

- Yeah, because Mercury-shitting giants make fantastic role models...

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world

- When I first heard this song, I misheard this lyric as “I feel like walking to work”.  My version makes a lot more sense as it’s a much shorter distance.  I don’t know how she expects to cross the oceans on foot, but good luck to her.

You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl

- Christ, now KT reckons you can actually listen to someone’s appearance.  In fact, I have the same problem when I meet hot women.  “I’m sorry?  I can’t hear you over your radiant beauty!”

She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white

- It would appear that she hasn’t been born in glorious Technicolor like the rest of us.  Also, “fills up every corner” suggests that she has similar properties to a liquid.  Poor black and white liquid baby.

Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

- Words are not solid enough to cling onto.  This is ludicrous.

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most

- This supports the giant theory

And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine

- That’s a bit freaky.  I’m guessing that she went to the doctors to find out why she’s a giant, poison-emitting, uncoloured, liquid beast.  While she was in the waiting room, her eyes fell out and rolled into the reading material.  KT later found those peepers in a copy of Good Housekeeping.

Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower

- Yes, inspirational people make me feel like a defensive building too.  David Attenborough makes me feel like an army barracks, and Usain Bolt makes me want to be an aircraft hangar.

She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

- And yet, people are still waiting for Jesus to return?

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me



Well that was a rabbit hole big enough to fit a whole asylum in.  As you can see, this is clear evidence that KT Tunstall should be sectioned, or at least restrained in some manner when appearing in public.  I hope this has been illuminating.



~~~Editors Note~~~

Hi.  I know I don’t often talk to you candidly on here, but I’d really appreciate your feedback on this.  I really enjoyed writing this post and I’d like to make this song dissection theme a semi-regular feature.  If you could spare a couple of minutes to let me know what you thought of it, I would be eternally grateful.  Remember, you don’t need a Blogger account to comment, so feel free to comment anonymously.  Alternatively, email me at addman_00@hotmail.com.  Thanks.

27 comments:

  1. This was pretty funny but I thought the "she holds you captivated in her palm" line was a handjob reference.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, I can't believe I missed that one. With my filthy mind I'm surprised that wasn't the first thing I thought of. Thanks though, glad you liked it.

      Delete
    2. LOL! I'll never hear that song the same way again. :)

      Delete
  2. Love this, definitely make it a regular thing, please!
    I think your take on the song actually made me like it...no, it hasn't. Nearly, though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent, thanks. For the record, I actually think the song is okay. Although I have been assured that I have a poor taste in music, especially when I was caught dancing to a fire alarm.

      Delete
  3. Do you have any jobs going because of the amount of giggling I did I will soon be fired and looking for work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could use a secretary, or at least, someone to mop my forehead when I'm typing furiously. How do you look in high heels and a mini skirt?

      Delete
  4. Right now, Sir Poops and Hair Ball are wondering what I'm hysterical over. This was TFF!

    Shelly

    http://secondhandshoesnovel.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope Sir Poops and Hair Ball are animals, otherwise you have the strangest housemates!

      Thank you very much :)

      Delete
  5. Curse you for being so daned funny. I used to like this song. Now I feel the only justifiable action I can take is to flush my i-pod down the toilet and send Ms. Tunstall the bill for a new one.

    I would be very happy to see more of these as a semi-regular item. It cant be easy, but the work is well worth it.

    De Dododo De Dadada has always enraged me for the way Sting seems to be incapable of speaking to women unless they are late night hookers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think she should buy you ten iPods, just because she can probably afford it.

      And thank you, I think I'll have to do some more with the good feedback so far. Who knows, I might even take requests.

      Delete
  6. For me, the lyrics to a song are rather important, maybe because I'm a writer. This song just doesn't move me very much but I do like your analysis of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you liked it. I admit that the lyrics are rather bland unless you have an imagination like mine.

      Delete
  7. Love your take of the song. Definitely I think you should make this a regular posting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome. I'll do some more then. If anyone has a suggestion for a song they'd like me to dissect, feel free.

      Delete
  8. Well, other than the fact I can't get that song out of my head now, I like this feature and hope it returns, especially if it gives us beautiful imagery like "Mercury Shitting Giants".
    I shudder to think what'll happen when you get to songs about sexing up teenagers like "She's Only 17" or anything by Jerry Lee Lewis.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How many songs about sexing teenagers can there be? I think a return looks certain.

      Delete
  9. Great post! I'd love to see this as a regular theme. There are soooo many lyrically-challenged songs out there to choose from.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah there's a lot of source material to work with. I think this could go on forever really. Glad you liked it.

      Delete
  10. We need more songs about Mercury Shitting Giants. With all of this rap music about bouncing boobies and big ol' butts, Mercury Shitting Giants are a breath of fresh silver pools of light (aka mercury).

    Definitely one of the best posts I've ever read! I'd recommend you keep them coming. May I suggest "Loser" by Beck. That was the first one that stuck out in my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Bloody hell, Loser is probably the most difficult to do. I promise I'll my way up to it, I think I might need to cut my teeth on some other songs first. Cheers for the kind words!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love some Latin American stuff it sounds cool, but one day I got to see a film of something I really thought cool with the lyrics translated below on a tv show. It was a disaster I thought it was about the great revolutionary fight and struggle and it turned out to be about a farmer and his faithful mule who carried the farmers cabbage to market. I think I would have preferred it if it was a giant monochrome mule that was powered by Mercury, a beautiful Mule that speaks to us about what we should be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds delightful, but perhaps we could make the mule sepia tinted instead? It would still keep its artistic integrity, and it would be a more colourful character.

      Delete
  13. Like do more.

    And do one soon, I need ot get that blasted song out of my head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But then you'll have something equally infuriating in your head.

      Delete
  14. It wasn't my favourite, but that doesn't mean anything. If you write them, I will read them, and I can see how it would be fun to do. Maybe I'll like the next one better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks man, I appreciate the honesty. I will try a few more, so we might end up with some more interesting results. Although I won't make it too regular, as I hope people enjoy the unpredictable subject matters that I tend to cover. I hope there are other posts here that peak your interest more.

      Delete

Leave me a nice comment or die trying.