Have you ever listened to a song, then realised that the lyrics are utter nonsense? I have. In fact, I've noticed a startling trend that most artists seem to be talking out of their arse. I understand that some of it can be attributed to artistic expression, but shouldn't our music at least be coherent? Here’s an example of a particularly bad case, KT Tunstall’s Suddenly I See:
Let’s dissect this song and discover the levels of inexplicable gibberish hidden within:
Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
- So I can throw away my road atlas and my GPS, and instead use a photograph of KT Tunstall for all my navigational needs? Google Earth are probably trying to harness the power of her face in order to get live traffic data and up to the minute travel news.
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
- That silver pool sounds like leaking Mercury if you ask me. I wouldn’t leave that unattended.
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
- That’ll be the Mercury poisoning.
She holds you captivated in her palm
- And she’s a giant?
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
- Yeah, because Mercury-shitting giants make fantastic role models...
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me
I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
- When I first heard this song, I misheard this lyric as “I feel like walking to work”. My version makes a lot more sense as it’s a much shorter distance. I don’t know how she expects to cross the oceans on foot, but good luck to her.
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
- Christ, now KT reckons you can actually listen to someone’s appearance. In fact, I have the same problem when I meet hot women. “I’m sorry? I can’t hear you over your radiant beauty!”
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
- It would appear that she hasn’t been born in glorious Technicolor like the rest of us. Also, “fills up every corner” suggests that she has similar properties to a liquid. Poor black and white liquid baby.
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word
- Words are not solid enough to cling onto. This is ludicrous.
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me
And she's taller than most
- This supports the giant theory
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
- That’s a bit freaky. I’m guessing that she went to the doctors to find out why she’s a giant, poison-emitting, uncoloured, liquid beast. While she was in the waiting room, her eyes fell out and rolled into the reading material. KT later found those peepers in a copy of Good Housekeeping.
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
- Yes, inspirational people make me feel like a defensive building too. David Attenborough makes me feel like an army barracks, and Usain Bolt makes me want to be an aircraft hangar.
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see
- And yet, people are still waiting for Jesus to return?
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me
Well that was a rabbit hole big enough to fit a whole asylum in. As you can see, this is clear evidence that KT Tunstall should be sectioned, or at least restrained in some manner when appearing in public. I hope this has been illuminating.
~~~Editors Note~~~
Hi. I know I don’t often talk to you candidly on here, but I’d really appreciate your feedback on this. I really enjoyed writing this post and I’d like to make this song dissection theme a semi-regular feature. If you could spare a couple of minutes to let me know what you thought of it, I would be eternally grateful. Remember, you don’t need a Blogger account to comment, so feel free to comment anonymously. Alternatively, email me at addman_00@hotmail.com. Thanks.
