I Think I Need Help...

Heldago?

As promised, here's an update about the strange dreams I have when half asleep. For those of you that read my last article, you'll already know that before I wake up fully in the morning, I set my alarm to snooze, then begin to drift off to sleep again. When my alarm wakes me up for a second time, I haven't had the chance to go into a deep sleep, and can usually remember my dreams. For those that didn't read my last post, then go back and read it! Don't expect a summary from me!

Anyway, earlier this week, I dreamt that I had acquired a pet lizard. I didn't buy him, or even swap anything for him, but he simply appeared (complete with tank and everything he needed) atop my bookcase and made himself comfortable.

The moment I saw his scaley little hide I had already fallen for his repitllian charms. I named him Heldago (I wish I knew...), and I grew to care for him like a first born son. I'd try and teach him to jump through hoops, but he'd merely stand there, blissfully unaware of my attempts to bond with him. He had a box of crickets for food, and I would gleefully feed the crickets because I knew Heldago would get to sample the fruits of my labours by lunchtime. I'd introduce him to my friends and family, but Heldago turned his nose up at these newcomers, I was guttered that he did not like my family.

Later that day, I arrived home after a quick trip to the pet store, with a new bag of crickets (A bag of crickets? Would they not suffocate?) in hand. As I opened the door, and I almost dropped the bag in shock. In the time it took me to go to and from the pet shop, Heldago had somehow become a celebrity. Due to his overwhelming popularity, Heldago had decided to don a top hat and a monacle in some far flung attempt to flaunt his high society status. His fame was reknowned throughout the land, and a small gathering of scantily clad groupies had secured entry to my house so they could crowd around Hunky Heldago. One woman rubbed him under the chin as he glanced at me, then turned away, shunning me in favour of his gaggle of hens.

I was crushed. I could only stand there with a tear in my eye as he left the house on his solid gold Segway. I guess I loved him more than he could ever love me...


Joke Of The Day

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says "what is this, some kind of joke?"