Friday, 28 October 2011

One Way Traffic

If, like me, you always thought that social sciences were about as insightful as a Tarot reading from a moose, you'd be in the majority.  Although, in these trendy, technological, hellzapoppin' times, it is possible to study user demographics quite easily.

Blogger is rather good at this, and it allows me see what key words people searched for in order to bring them here.  Some of them I can totally understand, some are much more perplexing.  From these statistics, I can safely say that virtually no one who visits here actually finds what they are looking for.  Here's a summary of the most outstanding hits from the last week:

nazi super weapons - 22:  Ever since Fort wrote a piece about Nazi weaponry, it has been the biggest source of traffic for this blog.  This makes me especially jealous considering that he hasn't wrote anything for at least 3 years, and I've written well over 100 posts.  Nothing will ever be as popular as the weapons used by genocidal maniacs.

unlock iphone4 - 5:  Why?  I don't think I've ever mentioned iPhones.

Young kids cunts - 2:  This will be from an article I posted called "Your Children Are Cunts".  In trying to make a political point, I've managed to turn Muppets For Justice into a paedophile haven!  What does scare me though is that 2 people had the audacity to enter those words into Google in the first place.

"cyber jesus" - 2:  Cyber Jesus?  There's only one cyber jesus, and that's Holly from Red Dwarf.

judge muppets names - 1:  I wonder if this person actually wanted a critique of puppet monikers.  If so, I happen to think that Kermit is an apt name for a frog, and I give it 7/10, two thumbs up, and this face :).  Hope this helps you to find inner peace.

freaking hot amatuer women - 1:  Well, horny sir, I hope you got what you were looking for.  I myself am an amateur woman, as I am not developed enough to be a professional one.  Please feel free to indulge your carnal desires over my profile.

wiggly worms you just can't catch em song - 1:  This is just awesome.  I think the person who searched for this might be my soul mate.

This is further proof, if needed, that the average person who reads Muppets For Justice is a socially maladjusted, psychopathic pervert.  No offence.


  1. I just thought of doing this recently, you beat me to the punch. It's sad when you realize that a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of your page views are the people who actually read your blog. on the bright side I guess the hope is that one of the perverted masses will come upon your site during a refractory period and actually read one of your articles.

  2. i get monkey masterbation, ripped midget and new ways to masterbate which is a step up from the usual awful things people search for before coming across (oo-er) my blog. is it me? am i the wierd one? or are search engines just not they used to be anymore!
    maybe there should have a top trumps style keyword-off with a big trophy for the winner.


Leave me a nice comment or die trying.