Friday 16 January 2009

The Legend Of Benji

This is a continuation post in the saga of Benji, the hoodie scammer. To sum up the last post, he attempted to use a group of mine to advertise his business, so I decided to see how long I could string him along for.

Shortly after our previous exchange, Benji added me as a friend and tried to talk to me via IM. The exchange suddenly became livlier and required me to think on my feet, causing Benji to question my integrity a couple of times, but I'm quite pleased with how this turned out:

11:41amBenjy

hello

Eight it is then.

What file are these emails stored in? Its something we could look at.

Could you send out and event? or post a link and a small note explaining how we intend to generate money for charity on your??

11:42amAddman

I can make a link on my group. What kind of thing would you like it say?

I can make it say all sorts of things

11:43amBenjy

i can have a think about that then send that to you

what about a fund rasisng event?!

11:45amBenjy

do have a mobile that i can call you on?

11:46amAddman

I'm afraid my mobile is in need of a replacement, so no, just the land line at the moment I'm afraid.

Never trust a dog to fetch your phone when it rings

11:46amBenjy

wise words there

from your group you can send an event out cant you.

11:47amAddman

Oh I see, yes I can, and people can see it and join and write all sorts of stuff all over it

11:48amBenjy

indeed! you could set one of those up

11:48amAddman

What kind of event should I make? How about 2% off all hoodies event, in aid of Hoodies

11:48amBenjy

send it to m e 1st and i can approve it

11:48amAddman

Alright, I'll brainstorm some ideas and let you know

1st idea: Hoodies for dogs. Dog hoodies than are semi permeable and let in water

11:49amBenjy

if they join my group @the hoody company.com' they get 10% off

if they quote your reference say ' Saras hoodies' the hoody organiser will get a free hoody and 25p will go to your charity

11:50amAddman

That's a fantastic promotion, but I don't understand how that money will get into my bank, or how much 10% of 25p is

11:52amBenjy

yes agreed

once its up and running then u give me ur bank details

11:52amAddman

Right ok, what details will you need from me when this is all up and running?

11:53amBenjy

acc number and sor code

*sort

We need to get this working 1st!!

11:53amAddman

Right ok then, I'll go to the bank this afternoon and get those details ready for you. I'll say "Give me the details for Benji!" and they will shiver in fright.

Yes, yes we do, this is grave business

I've just had an idea for the event!

11:54amBenjy

ill think of something to add to your group page. whats the idea you have?

11:54amAddman

How about a "Best hoodie against peadophillia" contest?

11:55amBenjy

hmmm not so sure

lets both have a barin storm

11:55amAddman

I think my idea is a sure fire winner

11:55amBenjy

i have to go to a meeting now but will be back about 2. you can show me what you have then

11:55amAddman

Ok then Benjy, I'll think up some fantastic ideas and let you know. Even though I think we should go with my hoodies for paedophiles one.

11:56amBenjy

do you have a 'sarahs law' logo?

11:56amAddman

Yes, I'll fish it out and give it you

11:57amBenjy

what charity will it go to?

11:57amAddman

The Foundation Against Roaming Paedophiles And Protection Of Molestation From Adults

11:58amBenjy

ok

11:58amAddman

Benji I've been thinking about that brainstorm and I think that a contest would be the best type of event to hold. One about Sarah and how much she hates those rascally paedophiles.

11:59amBenjy

are you serious?

11:59amAddman

Of course!

12:01amBenjy

well think about it and let me know when i get back

12:10amAddman

Benjy, I just rang the bank. They said I shouldn't trust you and that you are a shifty, immoral person. Is this true?

12:10amBenjy

of course not

who said this?

12:11amAddman

Benjy, you're testing my patience here. The bank said you don't even care about Sarah's Law and only want to make profits from hoodies!

12:11amBenjy

are you serious?

12:12amAddman

They said you also sold your dog to an unscrupulous peasant who may/may not have raped it and eaten it.

I don't know where they get their information, but I've got no reason to not believe them.

12:15amBenjy

fuck off!!!

Benji is offline

12:16amAddman

Hold me!

3 comments:

  1. It's difficult to see at exactly what point you delivered the back-breaking straw to the Benji-camel.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! Disappointing to see Benjy take off at the first sign of danger, but it's still a pretty satisfying end. Well done, Addman :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I believe that his sign off was a little rude. Maybe he is ashamed of his decision to sell his dog to a peasant. I'm not sure why, it's not like he raped and ate the dog or anything.

    He should have done a background check on the unscrupulous peasant just to see how unscrupulous he really was.

    P.S. Wise decision on the 8 gerbils

    ReplyDelete

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