Anyway, the other day I heard of a thing called Gangnam Style, which is apparently the most incredible song ever committed to vinyl (or vinyl’s digital equivalent). I watched it on YouTube, along with millions of others who, judging by the comments, were also incidentally being sucked off by a wonderful, resplendent unicorn. At least, that’s the conclusion I drew from the quality of the posts, which would make it difficult to concentrate on most YouTube videos to be honest. This video has become quite the YouTube hit, being the second most watched video of all time. After my initial confusion, I took to Wikipedia to find out why Gangnam Style was such a success.
|My invisible unicorn is available for private appointments|
It was on Wikipedia that I read the most abhorrent paragraph ever submitted to the Internet since John Major and Edwina Currie fanfiction. Here it is, copy and pasted in full below. Before you read this, please note that I am not responsible for any organs that are ruptured in the vomit that is due to flow from reading this extract:
As the song continued to gain popularity, its dance moves were performed by a few business and political leaders including Google's executive chairman Eric Schmidt, the British Prime Minister David Cameron, and UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon, who hailed the song as a "force for world peace".
That’s right, world leaders are starting to replicate Gangnam Style in the name of peace. It would seem that a Korean man doing an invisible horse dance has done more for international diplomacy than all the charity and aid contributed by the nations of the world. PSY has united the globe under the mantra of hope and freedom with more success than Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa and He-Man combined.
I know it may come across as sour grapes, but I don’t see how a guy in a silly jacket talking about “sexy ladies” is any more important than me doing a sponsored walk. In fact, I would say that my miniscule amount of charity work for Samaritan’s Purse is much more worthy of international fame and glory. If only I’d thought to do a Sponsored Stupid Dance instead.
For those of you who have enjoyed laughing your heads off at that silly foreign guy, I say shame on you. Because of your negligence, you have forced David Cameron and Ban Ki Moon into some bizarrely moronic dance-off. Next, they intend to send Fenton into war zones and give Keyboard Cat a job as a ceasefire negotiator.
|The UN's new peace envoy|
I don’t mind memes. I don’t mind people laughing at daft YouTube clips. I do mind when throwaway pop songs become political as world leaders try to score points off of being the first person to notice a popular trend. This isn't a "force for peace", it's pandering for public support. Cameron is one of the worst for this. His admission that he had the Arctic Monkeys on his iPod, whether it was true or not, is nothing more than shameless self promotion. The same goes for his magnum opus of publicity stunts, inviting Chicago rapper Rhymefest round to Number 10 for a spot of tea. More and more, politicians are trying to cash in on this hollow fame culture as a way of scoring votes, and it sickens me more than a chunder-spunk salad.
Phew, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Join me next time when I point out the many laws broken in the "Charlie bit me" video, and why the "evolution of dance" is merely propaganda for the Nazi party.