Friday 1 March 2013

Yahoo Answers



There are a lot of things on the Internet we take for granted.  Google, for example, has been around on the Internet as long as flaming skull GIFs and casual sexism.  Google has even managed to integrate itself into many of our browsers and is the default search engine for millions, even billions of people.  So, I find it staggering that, due to the prevalence of Google, a website such as Yahoo Answers still exists.

For those that don’t know, Yahoo Answers allows anyone to ask a question.  Other registered users will strive to answer that question over the course of the next few days, after which the asker can vote on the best answer.  It’s like using a search engine, but it takes several day/night cycles to reach a conclusion.  Regardless, many of the questions submitted are hilariously awful.  I feel no shame in posting these screen caps since these people uploaded them to a public domain anyway. 


In all honesty, I have spent many sleepless nights weeping over the existence of One Direction, but I suspect our motives are different.  In any case, I think Jodie would rather enjoy reading the Harry Styles News Wire, probably more than I did.


Nah it's fine.  When the first canines evolved, they were specifically adapted to digest copious amounts of sugar and E numbers.  He'll probably be fine.  If he stops moving for a while, that's just his way of breaking down the enzymes .

What strikes me is, by the time we've figured out the best answer it'll be too late either way.  Either the dog will survive or it will die.  The Internet waits with baited breath for the outcome.


Yes, the Greeks quote more Daft Punk songs than Albanians.

I don't understand why LFM is so keen to compare Greeks and Albanians.  Do they have a genetic rivalry that I'm not aware of?  Frankly, I'm more concerned about who would be more proficient on a balance beam, Hungarians or Eskimos.


Nice smooth tone big legs.  What a lovely sentence.  It's what I search for whenever I'm on the Internet.  Regardless, this is a little incestuous and I think we should move on...


No, because when I got out, seagulls would peck me.  However, I would wash myself in a hot spring of Marmite.  Next question!

You could swim in a lake of mayonnaise.  You won't need armbands because if you slipped under, you'd be able to eat your way back out.


This would be quite a metaphysical question if it wasn't for the waves of scientific evidence we currently have access to.


Thanks for this life-affirming tale.  Due to my expertise in this area, I predict that you'll have to take a dump the size of a monster truck over the next day or two.


We like to have it off with members of the same sex,
We're an exclusive club but don't compare us to sects,
Shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yo, shimmy yay,
Gimme the mic to me because I'm proud to be gay,

No skiddies?  Thank God for that, I was worried for a second!

Now that I've dipped my toe into the murky puddle of stupidity, I feel the sudden urge to shower, vigorously.  Until next time!

18 comments:

  1. As usual, when you dip your toe into the sea of Yahoo Answers, you usually pull it out covered in mayonnaise. So many disturbing images here. I love idiots who ask pressing medical questions. It should be a prerequisite before owning an animal, or quite frankly having a child, a professional simply asks if you've ever used Yahoo Answers. If it's "yes" no living thing for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh God, I'm bleeding to death, what shall I do?

      *Loads up Yahoo Answers*

      Hmm, many people are suggesting that I go to the hospital. I'll do just that, right after I vote on my favourite answer and give them feedback.

      Delete
  2. The good thing about Yahoo Answers is that any specific question I have has often times already been answered on there. Can you preserve a cardon of milk if you dip it in chocolate? Where is the center of the Earth? How many vertebrae must I remove before I can lick my knee caps?

    But, this is one of my favorite videos on YouTube, and it's about a Yahoo Anaswer (How is Babby Formed?): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_RaPOOVX1Y

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    Replies
    1. Ahahaha, great video! I'm surprised I haven't seen it before.

      Delete
  3. My dog eats rainbows all the time! You should see it when he takes a shit!

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    Replies
    1. Makes the Skittle slogan sound a little menacing...

      "Taste the rainbow, bitch!"

      Delete
  4. I feel really sick after eating non stop?

    WHY WILL NOBODY ANSWER THIS QUESTION??

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    Replies
    1. My lungs fill with oxygen when I inhale? Please write back asap.

      Delete
  5. That last guy is just...Oh why would someone do that? Oh dear. There are plenty of gems on Yahoo Answers and I'm sad that I've never really seen any of them. But I rarely go on there to look for them really.

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    Replies
    1. I know, that last question was actually the first I found. Oddly enough it didn't deter me from digging deeper. Still, I thought I'd save the best until last in this case.

      Delete
  6. Now in order to seek a clear and concise answer to the 'nice smooth tone big legs question', I decided to ask Spawn for his opinion, him being a son and me having nice smooth tone big (not fat) legs. His answer was thus "eww (x100). That's creepy. What sick and perverted woman would allow that? I would put their hands under a guillotine." Thus proving that psychotic tendencies runs in my family...but not filthy, dirty, low down leg strokers. :)

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    Replies
    1. Brilliant. Spawn may be a psychopathic mutilator, but at least he wouldn't stroke your legs. It pleases me that you read this out to your own son.

      Delete
  7. I've always wanted to know if spiders get hiccups, but I don't want to cause any controversy with the dozens of people who only have access to Yoohoo (Can't be bothered to scroll up or remember what its called - hahaha)
    I'm guessing most of these idiots...sorry people are American or at least have never been outside.

    asking if a tree is more alive than a rock really does begger reason.

    It's time like this I'm ashamed to be human.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need to see this:

      http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080710155722AAG1dQs

      Delete
  8. I wish I thought of this idea for my blog. This post is right up my alley. At least the panty sweat drinker has enough self control not to touch himself right after.

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    Replies
    1. I can't imagine how sweaty they'd have to be to get a drink from them.

      Delete
  9. Is it weird to drink the sweat from your girlfriend's BFF's panties?
    Would it be less weird if he drank his own girlfriend's panty sweat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This raises a whole load of ethical questions. Is it considered cheating to ingest another woman's panty sweat?

      Delete

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