The Large Hardon Collider

Modern day science is something that we all take for granted. What with our plasma screen toasters and clockwork tapirs, we don't often stop and think about the marvellous science at work behind each of these products.

A fine example of this is the humble microwave.  Microwave cookers have been around for decades now. They've become a part of our daily lives, so much so that a George Formby Grilling Machine seems sophisticated in comparison. But did you know that microwave ovens were invented for the space program? Technically, we all have a souvenier of the space program in our houses. So, if the space race allowed us to make warm, buttery popcorn in seconds, imagine what technology will be born from The Large Hardon Collider.

The Large Hardon Collider (or LHC for short), is a giant machine underneath Amsterdam which fires two Hardons at each other at near-light speeds. Scientists accelerate the Hardons until they can't take any more, then smash them together.

A Bigs Bosom detector

Why are they doing this? Well, it's science for science's sake really, but the energy released when two Hardons rub together is expected to reveal something called the Bigs Bosom.

Scientists in Amsterdam believe that the Bigs Bosom creates Hardons. If we can prove this, this means our current physics model is correct and we know everything there is to know about Hardon science. As such, there is a lot riding on these Bigs Bosoms, and it's their job, as men of science, to examine them thoroughly.

After building a large underground lair-I mean laboratory for discovering these Bigs Bosoms, these top men have allowed their aparatus to be turned on, and are taking close up, voyeristic shots of Hardons.  They are measuring them intensely in the hopes of proving that Bigs Bosoms are not just bouncing around on the fringes of myth, but are real and can be observed by anyone who is so inclined.

If and when we find the Bigs Bosom, we must refrain from getting noticably excited.  The technology to observe and harness these bad boys may be years away, but it is my hope that the world will become a better place in future, all thanks to Bigs Bosoms and the Hardons they cause.

((I'm sorry to any ladies who feel left out by this post. As way of an apology, please enjoy this picture of Henry Cavill having his clothes melted off))