The general public is often busy for up to 93% of their waking life, the comprehensive survey concluded, with the busiest hours being between 9:00AM and 5:00PM. These busy periods often occur during weekdays.
“I find that I am usually busy when I am at work” said Bob Lager, a refuse disposal technician from Dagenham. “But then when I get home I have to take the bins out, and sometimes help a child with maths homework. I mean, shouldn’t they be teaching that kind of thing in school? I’m far too busy for that.”
It is claimed that many Britons are even busy on bank holidays and during days off. Laundry, visiting elderly burdens (or relatives), and mundane sexual duties are amongst the top chores people are subjected to.
|Typical British work|
Even stay at home parents are finding themselves immersed in an increasingly busy lifestyle. Despite being previously thought of as slovenly babysitters who eat Pringles for breakfast and update their Facebook status all day long about the latest Jeremy Kyle revelations, it turns out that these people are also rather busy. Changing soiled nappies and nipping to the shops are all highly rated activities.
“I find that I am just too busy to talk to people” said Lauren Magnum, a mother of two in Kettering. “I’m the busiest busybody in the history of busy”
9 out of 10 people surveyed said they were “too busy” to complete a simple questionnaire about how busy they are.
A government spokesperson tried to deny and suppress the scientific findings. “It’s all relative. Sometimes people say they’re busy as an excuse to get out of something. Sometimes they’ll say they’re busy when they don’t have 10 hours a day to snooze and play video games. Sometimes people claim to be busy so as not to appear lazy amongst their peers. This research proves nothing.”
As a contrast, we found a man who claims to not be very busy at all. Adam Gardner says “to be honest, I can’t recall the last time I was busy. I don’t think I’ve ever been busy at all in my life.”
I could write more about this, but frankly, I’m just too darned busy. I’ve got to take the dog for a walk, then think about my next toilet trip. I am one busy motherfucker!
Thank you all for your wonderfully polite and civilised suggestions for the 200th post. I am now closing submissions, which will hopefully give me enough time to write the damn thing. In all fairness, you've all come up with fantastic entries and I hope the results will not disappoint.