Friday 9 November 2012

The US Election


We at Muppets For Justice may be even more out of date than print media, but today I'd like to talk to you about the US election.  Last Wednesday saw President Barack Obama elected for a second term.  This was good news for people who wanted to keep control over their own wombs and ovaries, and it also resulted in a hysterical meltdown by Donald Trump:



I’m looking forward to the Trump revolution for a number of reasons.  Firstly, I’d like to see a country run by a man who has made a living out of bankrupting himself.  Take THAT national debt!  Secondly, I’d love to see millions of people on protest marches wearing Donald Trump’s signature hair.  When a gust of wind swept over the crowd, it would look like a million blonde ferrets doing a Nazi salute.  Lastly, his name is Trump!  Trump!  As in fart!  Ahahahahaha!

But in all seriousness, a hearty congratulations has to go out to President Obama for winning a second term.  I imagine that he will want to celebrate this historic victory in style.  But what kind of party is suitable for a President?  I doubt he’ll be all that enamoured with a Dinosaur themed party.

I had a nice long think about this and I think I’ve come up with a celebration fit for a President.  I decided to email my idea to the White House and make a suggestion:


Dear Democrats,
 I would like to congratulate President Obama on his recent electoral win.  I don't follow politics very much, but I understand that he's become the Alpha Male of America and has won appropriate mating rights?  Well done, sir.
Anyway, I wanted to know what Mr Obama's plans were for celebrating his win.  If he happens to swing by my neck of the woods, I would like to invite him to my mate Steve's stag do (bachelor party).  I understand that the President likes to drink Guinness, and as luck would have it, we're going to the Guinness brewery.  Steve is really excited to see the President and I've kinda already promised him that Mr Obama will attend.  It just sort of slipped out.
If Mr Obama isn't intending to drink very much (he might need to drive us to the wedding the next day), he can always come with us paintballing beforehand.  Make sure he brings a pair of trainers because things can get a bit slippy out there.
Anyway, it's on the 30th so let me know what time he'll be arriving.
Thanks

I have yet to receive a response, so I am left to assume that everything is fine and the President will arrive as planned.  When I meet him, I'll let you know what he's like and try and persuade him to do a guest Blog next week.  I imagine after a few beers, he'll be totally up for it.

28 comments:

  1. NO! You must not look at the Trump. Attention only feeds his buffoonish antics (the popular vote takes at least a week to tally you cartoon parody of a real human...Trump, not you, Addman). If we all ignore him, he'll disappear.
    I would love to see you paintballing with Obama. That would be hilarious. It would be great to see him do barrel roles and take fools out like they were Bin Laden. Also, even if you make it up, I'd love to see a President Obama guest post.

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    1. I couldn't possibly ignore a man who is called Trump. It appeals to the child within me. It's like trying not to a look at guy holding a sign saying "Call Me Cocknose!"

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    2. Also, do you think the CIA would track me down if I impersonated Obama online?

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  2. If you are a liberal you should love Trump, he makes such an ass of himself that he steers people away from being associated with whatever he is selling. HMMH, perhaps Trump is part of a vast Left Wing Conspiracy. Sneaky bastard. Trump is REALLY Joe Biden, that's why you never see them in the same place at the same time. Somebody call the press, this is bigger than Watergate, it's bigger than... some other big thing. I gotta go.

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    1. I think you're onto something there. Maybe Donald is a liberal sleeper agent. Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

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  3. I would really enjoy seeing a guest post by Obama. I've seen some really hysterical rants on Twitter about the election. They make me laugh, then they make me cry, then cry some more. These people are actually serious.

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    1. True. I like to think that I've seen the very worst that the Internet has to offer, but it still manages to surprise me.

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  4. Is "Trump" an English term for "fart"? Sorry, I'm an ignorant American, and I have no idea.

    H'anyway, I completely agree with Flip. I feel people including Donald Trump and Rush Limbaugh are actually secret undercover Democrats who are paid to dismantle the Republican party by spouting some of the most insane utterances known to mankind. It's like Rowan Atkinson; he plays a silly billy on television but has a degree in Electrical Engineering.

    I think Romney's in on it too. I can't help but think he's getting a slice of the pie as a result of putting on the performance of a lifetime. His role as a villian was spot on! It only makes sense. If the Republican party had elected Ron Paul as their main man, then he would've received my vote, but they elected the most unlikeable of the candidates.

    Also, if Obama gets back to you, see if he'd be interested in partaking in our experimental blog. He won't have to assume a role. He can just be President.

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    1. Yes, trump means fart in English. It's a polite term. It's much nicer to say "whoops, I'm sorry I've just trumped" than to say "faecal molecules have been released from my rectum and are currently assaulting your nasal cavities. How does it feel to ingest my shit?! Huh?!"

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  5. Funny. Wouldn't it be great if Obama showed up? He has been known to do off-the-cuff things. As for Donald Trump: the man's having a mental breakdown and needs to get to a hospital as soon as possible.

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    1. Don't get my hopes up. I'd love to go paintballing with Obama and a squad of the CIAs finest.

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  6. I was just about to write something but Gardeners World is coming on right now so I will go and return later. Yes Sorry but Gardeners World makes more sense than the US election.

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  7. Here in the blue states we are doing a victory dance to be sure.
    I'd like to see an Obama, Return to the White House concert, with him as the main crooner. "Iiii.. think I just pooed on you (Trump)..." Maybe I should take a cue from you and write a persuasive letter.

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    1. Yes, I think we should all write to the president and invite him to our social functions. Odds are that he'll turn up to one of them.

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  8. Is Donald Trump the american version of Boris Johnson? because johnson is also a "polite" term of penis.
    Also, When was the last time you saw Ronald McDonald of McDonalds fame and Mr D.Trump in the same room at the same time???? Never - that's when.
    I have never seen Boris Penis and and Janet Jackson in the same room either but I doubt they are the same person.... maybe.

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    1. Yes, I think Boris Johnson and Donald Trump are related. You only have to look at the hair to figure that out.

      I don't think Janet Jackson is related though. I think she has more in common, genetically, with Jimmy Crankie.

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  9. Hello I'm Back . . . . . . . Did you know that thanks to my very good friend Mr ESB a fellow member of MAD's who lives in Texas, I am the proud owner of my very own State (OK Mr ESB is the Proud owner of my state) known as The Empire of Rod. It is a very small state, about the size of a pineapple plant and mainly consists of pineapple plantation, but as an independent state it did vote very much against the popular trend and after a close battle the vote was won by Rob Z Tobor (me). Because of the way the voting process works in the USA this equated to zero electoral votes in the electoral College system. In other words I was robbed or is it I am Rob. And President Obama still has not phoned me yet so if you do see him tell him I am not happy but I have banned Donald Duck from my lands . . . . . . AH DAMN wrong one.

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    1. That's a sad story Rob. I think we need a revolution in that country. A pineapple related one. It's almost as if the US doesn't recognise the human rights of flora and fauna.

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  10. I hope you put "Attn: Urgent" in the subject line to ensure that it goes to the top of his inbox.

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    1. I did. I also attached a Viagra advert to try and catch his attention, and offered him my African millions.

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  11. I can't wait to see the guest post from the president! Better yet, put him on the other blog and let the sins have a crack at him!

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    1. I'd love to do a guest post as Obama, but I don't think I could capture his smoothness. We saw him swat that fly. That's a level of cool that I can only dream of.

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  12. I see absolutely no flaws with your assumptions. I'm sure the President will be playing paint ball with you in no time.

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    1. You should come too. It is lads only, but I'm sure you can come in some sort of Mulan style disguise and meet the president.

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  13. Can't wait for the email response you get back! I got an email from the White House once after signing the petition to legalize a certain smoking product. I wish now I would have copied and pasted the email to my posting before I deleted it. I didn't think about it at the time. It was hilarious and told a tale of how very bad that is to our health. :)

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    1. Yeah, because it's so much worse than cigarettes. They sent you that for signing a petition? Seems a bit overkill to me.

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  14. Trump is hilarious and can't be taken seriously. I don't think he even knows what he's talking about. The world is laughing at him more like.

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    1. His Twitter feed is just him namedropping his celebrity chums and insulting democrats. I thought he'd be too busy with his multi-million dollar empire.

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