Wednesday, 27 May 2009

What Your Taxes Pay For

Since Swine Flu seems to have gone into hiding for the time being (until the Winter when it shall strike with furious justice), in order to pass the time, our lovely members of parliament have decided to "let slip" their expenses claims and give the public something to shout about. We've all heard about some of appalling items that these elected officials have been blowing our money on, including cheap bottles of wine, second home mortgages, and dry rot in houses that are not anything to do with their jobs. These details are slowly being revealed, but I want to expose them faster. Here is a list of MP expenses for you to get really angry about:
  • 1 bed in the shape of a guitar
  • 23 packets of sticky labels shaped like an amusing octopus
  • A bag of Doritos, but no dip
  • Copious amounts of squid ink
  • 12 novelty dildos
  • A Nissan Micra with the lyrics to Killer Queen sprayed on it in black paint
  • A signed photograph of Kaiser Soze
  • 5 Armitage Shanks toilets
  • 1 hotel on Mayfair
  • A gottle of geer
  • A course of 10 ventriloquism lessons
  • A stack of rubbish greetings cards from moonpig.com
  • N-Dubz latest single on iTunes
  • 2 haircuts
  • A microwavable quiche from Sainsburys
I'm sure that'll get some bloodvessels bursting.

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Yes, this is a novelty placeholder post. I promise you that I am working on something pretty exciting for this Blog, but just need a little more time to finish it off. Long time readers will not be disappointed, I'm sure of it.

As for MPs expenses, I wish I could come up with some items that are more ludicrous than what they actually claimed for. I mean, one MP claimed to have his moat cleaned, and another paid for a duck island! I wish I'd made it up. Both those items put my ideas to shame.

Usually, when people get upset over something they hear on the news, I'm the kind of person who sits back and gets annoyed at the braying mob who start telling us Britain is going downhill when they simply do not understand the situation. However, in this instance, people are right to be outraged. These trusted officials have effectively stolen out of an already dwindling fund, and people are justified in not trusting them.

Anyway, tune in next time for a more substantial post. I promise it will be good.

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