Once again, I adopted the mantle of Alan Paige for this expedition, and descended on a group simply titled "RAP BATTLES" with a couple of friends to help me out. To help you follow these fresh and funky flows, my stuff has a yellow heading, friends have a green heading, and others have a red heading.
To start, me and a friend called Missy B had a warmup battle:
With that over with, it was time to spread to other areas of the group, such as the wall:
Do you hear that pitter patter up on your Ciabatta?
Put down that toddler sandwich, it makes yo ass fatter,
To spank that skank ass it'd take a fly swatter,
That's the size of Michigan and would cause a splatter,
Joking aside, I'd buy you a wine that is grapey,
Then take you aside and force myself on you, cuz I'm rapey,
Taking a tour around your stately pussy makes me shakey,
Cuz it's full of mustard gas and my life's at stakey!
The gas from your vagina causing me to throw fits,
I feel just like a jew at Aushwitz,
Your minge is the pits, miles away from the Ritz,
And your tits loop around right under your armpits,
Ain't no glitzy glamour in your lady manor,
I'd rather demolish the whole place with a hammer,
Alan Paige wroteAmeesh? Amish. You're like a limp fish,
at 11:30 on 26 May 2009
Your rhymes aren't the freshest dish on ma wish list,
See through the red mist, don't go and get pissed,
Or else we'll play knockout without the whist,
In case you didn't get the gist, you've just been dissed,
Does it make you pissed so much you clench your fist?
Round your dick and furiously masturbate,
Because you're too late to fornicate,
With anyone else, so you just cum on a plate,
And try to serve it up to impregnate your date,
Me and my mate Harvey think you're an ingrate,
A reprobate flailing around like he's great,Ameesh Marwaha (Nottingham) wroteU think i give a fuk about ur dumb wish list,
at 11:55 on 26 May 2009
Stop eating ur mums pussy blud u smellin of fish
U jus sum dumb mutha fukka i suggest u get gone,
Do U know who i am? – I’ma lyrical don,
One of da best Mc’s on FaceBook .(DOT) Com,
And certain mans agree so i cant be wrong,
U don’t kno how to diss - ur disses go amiss,
Now open ur fukin mouth and let me take a piss,
When we battle blud i’m str8 knock u down,
U b like sadam Hussein hiding underground,
But when u give urself up blud ya wont be found,
Bcoz u one Mc nobody wants around,
If ur m8s wid Brian Harvey - boy u need help,
East 17’s attackin me – shud i worry bout my health?,
No i shudnt worry, but u shud worry bout yaself,
Coz u wont see me cumin - look up da word stealth............
BOBBY BLADE - NG2 - WEST BRIDGFORD - NOTTINGHAM....WOT? ? ? ? ?Jake Mason wrote
at 12:22 on 26 May 2009Ameesh, I think you are very disrespectful saying you want to wee in someones mouth and that someones mother has genitalia smelling of fish.
Tone it down lad.Jake Mason wroteAmeesh, you are a disrespectful little blighter,
at 12:27 on 26 May 2009
I'd like to put my hands around your throat,
maybe a little tighter, than is probably legal,
or maybe I should just shoot you dead,
get rid of you totally, because you are hurting my head
If you are here to talk about being a gay,
Tuck your willie between your legs and walk away,
because none of the boys in this here group,
are battiing for your team, or want to stir around your poop
Run along sonny Jim, find a plastic pop gun,
You're not from the the ghetto, you're from...
Bottingham.
Backyshacky YA!Ameesh Marwaha (Nottingham) wrote
at 16:11 on 26 May 2009Im not even gonna waste my time on Jake. If mans fink i didnt ave a cumback or i pussyed out, dats fine, fink woteva u wont. When sum1 use da words "you are a disrespectful little blighter", man dats sum O.A.P talk - I aint here 2 battle O.A.P's. So Jake, I really cant be bothered wid u, ur jus so wack, oh god, even dis is a waste of time, i'm out. peace 2 all my REAL MC'sAlan Paige wrote
at 16:14 on 26 May 2009Jake has already defeated Ameesh! And he's only been here for a few hours! Well done Jake!Slikz Hudson (Nottingham) wrote
at 16:16 on 26 May 2009stop beggin it alan lolAlan Paige wrote
at 16:19 on 26 May 2009Begging for what, Slikz? Ameesh stood down to Jake because Jake is the better rapper. I wouldn't like to battle Jake, from what I've seen, his rhythms are tighter than a ducks bumhole.Ameesh Marwaha (Nottingham) wrote
at 18:26 on 26 May 2009U kno wot. I stood down, ya mad. I gotta shut my shop and go home now. But i'll be back 2mrw. ALAN PAIGE = BRIAN HARVEY - AND FUK IT, JAKE MASON TO, YA ALL MARKED MEN. U R DA TOP 3 MC'S ON MY HIT LIST. I STOOD DOWN, YA MAD - I SED I CUDNT BE BOTHERED. I'LL LOOSE BATTLES TO GOOD MC'S YEAH, BUT I DONT STAND DOWN FOR NO FUKER. I WAS TRYNA RESPECT DA FACT DAT MY MAN ASKED ME NOT TO SWEAR - BUT FUCK JAKE AND HIS FRESH PRINCE CURSE FREE RAPS. AND DIS ALAN PAIGE DUDE, BOY U LOOK LIKE A FAGGOT. I NEVA TOOK DIS SHIT SERIOUS. BUT U AND BRIAN, U TWO R JOKERS AND JAKE TO NOW - THE THREE COCKA - TEARS. Big up Sliks, Ken, Steve, Deez men r Mc's. Not ya fake ass bitches. Until 2mrw den...Fuk all ya all fake Mc's - And peace to my real Mc's. U AINT WON SHIT JAKE! ! ! -Alan Paige wrote
at 09:50 on 27 May 2009Im not even gonna waste my time on Ameesh. If mans fink i didnt ave a cumback or i pussyed out, dats fine, fink woteva u wont. When sum1 use da words "you are a disrespectful little blighter", man dats sum O.A.P talk - I aint here 2 battle O.A.P's. So Ameesh, I really cant be bothered wid u, ur jus so wack, oh god, even dis is a waste of time, i'm out. peace 2 all my REAL MC'sAmeesh Marwaha (Nottingham) wrote
at 09:59 on 27 May 2009HAHAHAHAHA. I sed dat 2 Jake u prick. Not U. U AINT GOT A CUM BACK _ ALAN PAIGE IS A PUSSYAmeesh Marwaha (Nottingham) wrote
at 10:01 on 27 May 2009dis is RAP BATTLES - ATTACK WID A RHYME U PRICK. WOT I SED YES2DAY AINT NO STEPPIN DOWN. U R ONE SHIT STIRRING BASTARD. U FAGGOT, LOW LIFE, SAD CUNT. U BEST SPIT SUMFING BACK U PRICK. DONT MEK NE TALK. DIS IS RAP BATTLES U MUTHA FUKKA.Alan Paige wrote
at 10:10 on 27 May 2009Ameesh, it's called satire. I was pointing out that when you cannot muster a decent comeback, it is fine for you to dismiss it, whereas, if any of us do it, it is immediately a failing on our part. Anyway, I'm making a discussion topic for us to sort our beef out in, so wait a minute.
Since things were getting a bit hairy on the wall and many other people were getting involved, I made a discussion topic for myself, Jake, Brian, Ameesh and Slikz to rap battle in.
Alright dawgs. There seems to be a big division between two groups of MCs. I thought we oughta figure out which group is the best (even though it's obviously us). Please can people come in and vote for which group you prefer.
Oh and, I know you are outnumbered, so if you want to bring someone else in, that's fine.
Ameesh ain't an MC he ran away from a pensioner,
Inadequate in many ways, he needs an extensioner,
Your poetic license has expired, and so will your life,
I'd rather throw a toaster in your bath than waste time with a knife,
Gotta be more creative than just blades and guns,
Such as injecting the T virus into a bus load of nuns,
I'd feed you through a woodchipper till you ain't feeling chipper,
Post the remains to your skipper and some to your nipper,
Me, Harv and Mason win, it's a no-brainer,
Cos there ain't no one insaner with our megalomania,
So let's see your feeble attempts fall below our par,
We can putt you in two and hit you with our golf car.how da fuk u gunna start a new group so mans cant even see wot i typed earler. NOW 4 ALL JOING IN. THIS IS WOT I MADE EARLIER AGAINT DEEZ THREE CLOWNS. I'M GUNNA COPY AND PASTE IT SO U GET A GOOD READ. DEN I'MA SPIT WOT I WANT. DONT MEK OUT DAT U STARTED DIS TODAY AND I AINT SAID SHIT. PRICK.Alan Paige Alan Paige u rhymes fill me wid rage,
Dont mek me lock u and Harvey together in a cage,
Or dats probably wot ya want so u can suck his cock,
Spend sum quality time together give each other a good knock,
And i'm one MC ya really don't wanna mock,
Man i can kill u widout using a gun,
So put on ur nike trainers and get ready to fukin run,
Coz when i catch u, i’ma have me sum fun,
Put a blade in ur mouth, A Chelsea smile, i’m Dun,
Now put sum make up on ya face coz u look like The Joker,
And dat fat ugly prick from celebrity poker,
And now after dis battle u'l be known as THE CHOKER!
Dont say shit back or i'll be forced to smoke ya!.
Bobby Blade (NG2) Nottz.......Wot????NOW DATS WOT I DID DIS MORNIING. NOW, WE WILL DO DIS LATER, IVE GOT A SHOP 2 RUN ALAN. BUT I LIKED UR CUM BACK, HATS OFF 2 DAT.U jus a high school fukin mc, - hu gets a high from drinkin pepsi,
Stop sharing u daft rhymes blud ur spreadin Hep-C,
rappin and sex are similar – you have to aim to please
i keep da ladies addicted - but i give dem no disease
I can see in ur photo u still got bum fluff on ur face,
So fuck learning how to rhyme first finish learning to tie ur lace,
U cant keep up wid me u aint got da fukkin pace,
Ur so far behind me u’ll never beat me in dis race,
Now i’m da hip hop teacher so lets have a fukkin lesson,
Get ur pen and pad and start writing down dis fukkin session,
I love hip hop so much i spray it on like c.k obsession,
Learn manners for ya elders rap wid sum amenity,
Coz im ur worst nightmare and ur worst fukin enemy,
And ur jus gettin ur words from a oxford dictionary,HA-HA-HA! Don't make me laugh, I may be old, but this man ain't daft,
you ran away and cried to your daddy, said "old Jake is a meany and a baddy"
my rhythm and rhyme made you turn to the bottle, when you noticed 'Rain Hud' had turned it up full throttle
I was the first out of the boat at Normandy and gave scum like you a life that's so carefree,
on veterans day you struggle to hand over 10p, but spend all of your money on P-Diddy (where's the justice?)
You run away from an old man when all he does is rhyming, You turned up when the best arrived, that's really bad timing
Don't think that I'm a liar in my aspertion, If we were in the war my lad you'd be shot for desertion
So if you're not fooling when you say you are staying, get ready for a good and propper slayingRhymes pour out your mouth and dribble out your ear,
Shame that you have the consistency of diarrhoea,
So go get an idea so you can clamour near,
The level of excellence I'm presenting here,
My content is complex to keep your grey matter flexed,
I ain't vexed at your stressed caps lock induced mess,
Because I'm a rap president, I make other rappers hesitant,
Your a rhyming sinner and you better repent,
Relent to me, you understand what I speak,
You gotta realise that your synonyms are weak,
So last week and meek, should be shot in the street,
Like an incontinent sheepdog that always gets beat,
I like it how you accuse me of using a dictionary,
Because my lexicon repertoire is so extraordinary,
You better get ready, cos my words are machetes,
They slice through like a hairdresser shaving a yeti,
My grasp of vocab will send you back to rehab,
Like that Winehouse girl, but you're even more of a scab,
So go ahead and tell me how many verses you shat,
Content is better, any rapper knows that,why would u jus randomly make a thread for alan,brian,and jake vs me and armeesh ?Read the first post and stop disrupting the flow of this thread. If you want to post here, rap it.how am i disrupting the flow of this thread ? take ma name off this thread then ya fukkin eeydiyatNo.Content is better, I totally agree,
But dis is rap battles, anyone disagree,
I woz jus sayin u take to long to react,
Spending 24 Hours tryna write a rap,
U gotta be quick when u spittin a cum back,
Not go home and start flicking thru ur tracks,
To get da best part and den put it on dis page,
Ive had enuf of ur bullshit, okay alan paige,
If u wanna battle we need to arrange a date,
Coz da shit u doing now is really jus fake,
When we r both logged on at the same time,
Is really when we shud go at it wid the rhymes,
So wot we really need is a real time lyrical spar,
Den i’ll read ur raps and see how quick you are!!
Mr Marwaha seems a bit more respectful,
Perhaps he's realised that he is ineffectual,
Against this particular type of intellectual,
Discourse that flows so free and not stressful,
I pick up where I left, and that's showing you up,
You're about as effective as a dog throwing up,
A pile of bile and food past digestion,
Could muster up a rhyme with more contention,
In another time or place we could have been brothers,
Perpetrating the illegal prostitution of our significat others,
Thick as thieves, but this rap game got us both beefing,
And in this particular case I'm better at griefing,
So I respectfully say you better get outta the way,
Cos I mess up fools until they perform foreplay,
Stockholme Syndrome is what'll become of Ameesh,
It's the only way to cope when I'm off of ma leesh,Man U all da same person. U fink im daft. I have a so called rappin alter ego. and dats Bobby Blade, i rap under dat name. U Alan/jake/brian. U r all 1 person. Slikz woz right. Nottingham...I wish you and Slikz would stop spouting such lies. Is it hard to believe that there are 3 people out there with a different opinion to you? Shame really, I thought you were moving away from being a raging mentalist and starting to get into the spirit of rap battling.
The more bars you spit the more I start to see,
That Your style is starting to emulate me,
To the point where you've started copying lines,
Imitation is flattery, so help yourself to mine,
But understand that you'll never be identical,
You'll never come close to my fresh and authentic flow,
But it is heart warming to see some improvement,
You're sounding more and more like me with every movement,
So won't the real Paigey P please stand up,
Blow this building up, and copycats ripped up,
I never trip up when it comes to stitching you up,
You're gonna get kicked in the nuts unless you wear a cup,Did you know, dat when u battle rap, u take a part of the other guy sed and flip it. And ur saying im copying u. Do u remember my lyric. U Can Have Another Chance Coz Im Like Dat Still - U Can Borrow My Rhymes I Wont Even Send U A Bill. and u jus sed - im copying lines - so help urself to mine. See, u did da same thing, u took wot i sed and flipped. Dats battle rap. So wot r on about when u say im copying rhymes. Have u eva battled before, in real time. Face to face with sum1??????man is an idiot the biggest....
Live face to face freestyle? This better be recorded!
ReplyDeleteI like your style, Jake Masons last verse is my favourite though.