The Blog Tour Stop #1 - The Suddenly Kate Show

As you probably know, I am currently undergoing a Blog tour to promote my new book (UK and US versions available now).  This means that I have collaborated with some of my favourite Bloggers to provide some new, hopefully entertaining stuff.

Since this is effectively Day 1 of the Blog tour, it is my great honour to be hosted at The Suddenly Kate Show.  Kate is a fellow author who I have followed for quite a while, and helped her promote her own book on this very Blog earlier in 2013.  She has kindly returned the favour in the form of a humorous interview, which I hope you'll enjoy.  Please visit and, while you're supporting me, support Kate as well.  That link again.

Also, I have also done some pre-release promotional material which I would like to share.  Back in December 2013 (remember those heady days, when the Internet was in black and white and we only had 473 flavours of crisps?) I did a rather lengthy and bizarre interview with everyone's favourite Internet child Rob Z Tobor, which should be fun for those of you who enjoy eccentric Britishness.  Then there is the video interview that I did with the talented face of Bumferry Hogart, which is shows me in a poor light.  Seriously, the lighting for my part was terrible, so I can only apologise to Bumferry for providing him with shit quality video clips.

That's all for today.  I will keep you updated of Blog tour events as they arise, along with a smattering of business as usual stuff.  Until then, stay slinky.

One Sentence Movie Reviews

As someone who has viewed screens that have movies on them for, sometimes up to two hours in one sitting, it's quite surprising that more people haven't asked me for my opinions on films. Well, since I am an opinionated person with a Blog, I will inflict those opinions upon my readers.

However, we are all very busy people with far too little time on our hands. That's why I am going to keep my reviews short and limit them to one sentence maximum.

So anyway, here's a rundown of films I have seen this year, in one sentence or less:

Do they even use projectors anymore?

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa

Quite simply the funniest thing put to celluloid for years, and that's not a joke because I can't think of anything funnier than what's in this film.

The World's End

Not quite the funniest thing put to celluloid, but it has robots filled with blue stuff in it.

The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug

Fucking Legolas wasn't in the book, so the fact that he keeps fucking swanning around and saving every fucking fucker, is just a shrivelled rabbit turd on top of a delicious sundae.

Thor: The Dark World

Chris Hemsworth battles generic aliens again in the background while everyone pays attention to Tom Hiddleston.

Man Of Steel

They must have paid Russell Crowe a substantial amount, because the amount of times he comes back despite being dead suggests that the producers wanted their money's worth.

The Lone Ranger

Jack Sparrow vs Cowboys

Star Trek: Into Darkness

Benedict Cumberbatch cries, then rips people in two with his bare hands.

The Great Gatsby

Tobey Macguire earns his keep as a man who looks at everything with amazement and wonder.

Tobey, what wonder do your elf eyes see?

Captain Philips

Tom Hanks turns skinny in this fascinating hostage situation, but a Stockholme Syndrome-styled romantic plot wouldn't have gone amiss.

Saving Mr Banks

Tom Hanks looks a lot fatter in this.

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For anyone who wants a bit more Muppets For Justice action, or anyone who wants to learn a little bit more about my upcoming book, please go and check out Rob Z Tobor's blog, specifically this post.  It's an interview about my upcoming ebook, which should hopefully prove humorous and insightful in equal measure.

The Giant Mechanical Addman

It's not everyday that someone designs you a mechanical death contraption, so when it happens you know it's going to be an extraordinary day.  That's what happened last week when my delightful brother-from-another-dimension, Rob Z Tobor, drew up this masterpiece:

That, my friends, is a blueprint for a giant mechanical Addman.  Notice the Jammie Dodger in his hand?  That is a laser-guided laser system capable of firing lasers.  With Mr Rob's dilligent efforts, I shall put these 100% mechanically plausible design plans into mass production.  Anyone who pledges allegiance now shall be spared.

Of course, this overdue revolution wouldn't be possible without a big thank you to the eccentric child of cyberspace, so I encourage you all to read The Eccentric Diary Of Rob Z Tobor right now.  Or you can stick around and read the rest of this post first, then visit his Blog.

This act of generosity got me thinking.  Are there any other Bloggers who I owe a big thank you to?  Anyone who has inspired me, made me laugh, offered kind words of support, and generally been active around here deserves a thank you.  I don't say this a lot, but today I'm feeling soppy, sentimental, and will probably give you all a girly kiss on the bottom.  Actually, I take that back.  Nevertheless, I'd like to thank the following people.  Whether they know it or not, they've helped me keep Muppets For Justice going, mainly because I'm trying to compete with them in some pathetic manner:

Thoughtless Gibberish - Bumferry Hogart is a great guy who contributes the mighty fine voice of Hugh Huxley to the podcast (which shall be returning soon!).  His Blog is always funny, he's up for anything, and deserves more attention.  Go and follow him, if you know what's good for you.

Chiz Chat - Chiz has contributed several times to this Blog and he is never less than hilarious.  A surge in popularity might encourage him to post more often, so let's make it happen!

Beer For The Shower - Great cartoons, great writers, great...everything.  The Beer For The Shower boys are some of the funniest writers I've ever come across, and that's not to mention the excellent sketches contributed to my podcast.  More than worth your time.

Pickleope - What's green, has antlers, and is frightened to death of dolphin rape?  That'd be Pickleope, the world's funniest pickle since Pickleoctopus, the philandering clown.

The Rambling Person - Mark runs a candid Blog about writing and life in general.  Support Mark in his bid for writing supremacy!

The Suddenly Kate Show - Blogger, critic, writer, poet, stitcher, and all round creative type person.  Show your support here.

The Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose - Not a "mom blog".  Involves tales of infanticide and extreme humour.  A must.

Point Counter-Point Point Point - I've not been following this one for long, but I love the back and forth banter between Christian and Pat.  Presented as a debate, their posts are hilarious, intelligent and interesting.

Elton Says Things - The crudest Blogger I know, which is definitely a good thing!  Also, he designed that lovely Muppets For Justice banner at the top there.

Ash-Matic Does Things - The way in which Ash-Matic writes about the things he does leaves me in jealous contempt.  That means he must be excellent.  A great writer and a funny guy to boot.

If I haven't mentioned your Blog, that doesn't mean I don't like it.  In fact, I probably love it!  However, there are far too many to list, so thanks to you all for reading my stuff and putting up with me.  If you'd like to suggest a few worthy blogs in the comments below, please do so, even if it's your own.  I'm looking to expand the Blogs I read and would welcome suggestions.  Let the shameless self promotion begin!