Understandably, it is quite difficult to accept just how mundane and unimportant our lives sometimes are. When you work as a coat stand in an office day in, day out, then go home and watch “inspirational” celebrities buying caviar-covered cars with little to no discernable talent, it can be quite easy to fool ourselves into thinking that we’re destined for greater things. After all, if a Kardashian can be famous, surely we all can make it too, right?
Consumerism tries to make us feel special at every turn. If you buy this product, people will be jealous of you. If you take out this insurance scheme, we’ll strive to personalise our policy, just for you. This new gadget has been designed solely around you as a unique customer, and can be can be customised to your specific tastes. If you don’t like the camera angle on the Tennis right now, press the Red button to view it from a different angle, or perhaps watch the ball boy scratch his arse instead. Press the Yellow button to squirt him with water if he doesn’t fetch the ball fast enough. Yeah, that’s right, ball bitch! Don’t make me press the Blue button, for god’s sake!
As a result, we all walk around in our little bubbles feeling cosseted and special, just like the other 7 billion people on the planet. Obviously, this excludes people who live on dung heaps.
What I’m trying to say is, your thoughts and opinions, in all statistical probability, have already been thought of before. Every hilarious joke you’ve come up with has, more than likely, been said a thousand times. As I’m typing this now, I hold no illusions that no one else has ever thought of this before, and then typed a Blog post about it. I feel as though I’m plagiarising someone who I’ve never met, nor am I even aware of their work!
Try telling that to teenagers though. Teens are the worst group for this type of thinking. This is probably down to their protected childhoods, leading them into an insular, hormonal brain maze of frustration and angst. But since we’re not here to examine the social issues around this, I’ll just settle for calling them idiots instead.
|A unique person makes a valid point|
So if I am ever to breach any copyright laws in the future, my defence is already sorted. Chances are that any and every word, concept, and penis joke on here has been duplicated somewhere else. It’s like an infinite forest, at some point you’ll find the same formation of trees even amongst the random chaos of tree growth. That’s rather humbling isn’t it?
In conclusion, there’s no point trying to carve out a niche. Next week, I’m going to save brain energy and write about the deal with airline food.
On another note (a C major, if you're interested), the wonderful, talented, and infanticidal Lily from Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose has given me an award. The award is for being Creative, which is humbly taken by myself and displayed proudly:
Beautiful. As with anything, there are some conditions:
1. Link back to the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 10 random facts about yourself.
3. Pass the award onto 6 other people.
4. Follow the person's Blog who sent it to you.
As the post is already too long, I won't be sharing any facts today. Below are some people who I would like to award for being "Kreativ":
1. A Beer For The Shower - Always great illustrations, and always hilarious. Always!
2. HILL BLOCKS VIEW - Flip is a great Blogger with a wonderful comedic perspective.
3. How To Hate Everything - This lady doesn't post often, but when she does, you better hold on tight. Utterly hateful poetry.
4. Pickleope - The unholy union betwixt a pickle and an antelope, which is already enough reason to visit!
5. The Beserk Herc - Bersercules can draw, write, and point out the flaws in religious propaganda videos like no one else out there.
6. Thoughtless Gibberish - Bumferry Hogart! The guy is called Bumferry Hogart! If you're not already impressed, I don't know what's wrong with you.
So yeah, thanks Lily, and thanks everyone else for a great laugh.