Song Dissection - Meatloaf Edition

Sup y'all!  Welcome to the latest Song Dissection, a series in which I conduct musical autopsies.  Now, when I say Meatloaf, what's the first song that comes to mind?  No, not I'd Do Anything For Love, the other one.  We'll be covering Bat Out Of Hell, as suggested by the delightful pebble-pushing Poke The Rock.  So strap on your crucifix, let your puffy sleeves hang loose, and let's do this!

The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling
Way down in the valley tonight
It would seem that’s there a big emergency happening in Wales. 

There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye
And a blade shining oh so bright
This man sounds like a cyborg.  He’s had a firearm grafted into his eye socket.  I’ve heard the phrase “looking daggers”, but this man quite literally looks bullets.

There's evil in the air and there's thunder in the sky
And a killer's on the bloodshot streets
This isn’t just a thunderstorm, it’s an EVIL thunderstorm.  The type of thunderstorms that murders like to go out in to commit certain deeds.

Oh and down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising
Oh I swear I saw a young boy
Down in the gutter
He was starting to foam in the heat
This is basically describing a zombie-infested sewer.  A lone child has been bitten and is starting to turn.  This is turning out to be the worst storm in human history.  I bet they didn’t predict this on the Weather Channel.

Oh Baby, you're the only thing in this whole world
That's pure and good and right
And wherever you are and wherever you go
There's always gonna be some light
So Meatloaf is going to marry a torch.  I always knew this day would come, m’boy’s all grown up!

But I gotta get out
I gotta break it out now
Before the final crack of dawn
Dawn’s crack should not be used as a timekeeping device.  It is Dawn’s crack and, as a liberated woman, she can choose when and how to use it.

So we gotta make the most of our one night together
When it's over you know
We'll both be so alone
Is he still talking to his torch?  If so, I thought he was going to marry her and make an honest device out of her.  So why on Earth would they still be living apart?  Perhaps they have one of those arrangements like Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter where they live in separate houses.

Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone gone gone
What?!  It was all a ruse to get Dawn, our beloved torch lady, into bed!  There’s no marriage!  It’s all a sham!

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes
But when the day is done
And the sun goes down
And moonlight's shining through
Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven
I'll come crawling on back to you
Hit the road Meatloaf!  We don’t need your cheatin’ ass round here!

I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram
On a silver black phantom bike
Well I hope you at least wear a crash helmet.

When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry
And we're all about to see the light
It doesn’t matter how recklessly you ride your motorcycle, Dawn is not impressed anymore.  She used to think you were cool but now, she just wants you to pick up your stuff and get out!  Don’t even ask for the ring back, Dawn’s sold it for more AA batteries (because she’s a torch, not for vibrators you mucky pups!)

Nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole
Everything is stunted and lost
Are we back onto Dawn’s crack again?

And nothing really rocks
And nothing really rolls
And nothing's ever worth the cost
Freeway cola for 19p is quite a bargain if you ask me.  I’d say that’s worth the cost.

And I know that I'm damned if I never get out
And maybe I'm damned if I do
But with every other beat I got left in my heart
You know I'd rather be damned with you
Don’t drag anyone else into this.  If you’re going to hell, it’s not very fair to sabotage someone else’s attempt at happiness.

Well, If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned
Dancing through the night with you
If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned
Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned
Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned
Dancing through the night
Dancing through the night
Dancing through the night with you
This is pretty self-explanatory.  Meatloaf is taking part on Strictly Come Dancing.  The four horsemen are obviously the judges, and Brucie is the devil himself.  Just like in real life.

Oh Baby, you're the only thing in this whole world
That's pure and good and right
And wherever you are and wherever you go
There's always gonna be some light
But I gotta get out
I gotta break it out now
Before the final crack of dawn
So we gotta make the most of our one night together
When it's over you know
We'll both be so alone
Meatloaf repeats himself here, which caused havoc with my déjà vu.  What an inconsiderate prick.

Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone when the morning comes
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone gone gone
Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes
But when the day is done
And the sun goes down
And moonlight's shining through
Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven
I'll come crawling on back to you
Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven
I'll come crawling on back to you
I can see myself tearing up the road
Faster than any other boy has ever gone
It’s impressive that Meatloaf takes time out during his song to break a land speed record.

And my skin is raw but my soul is ripe
Like fruit?

And no one's gonna stop me now
I gotta make my escape
But I can't stop thinking of you
And I never see the sudden curve until it's way too late
And I never see the sudden curve till it's way too late
That’s the danger when trying to break a land speed record.  You need to stay focussed on the task, and try to do it in a place far away from curves.  Curves are a large detriment to high speed record attempts.

Then I'm down at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun
Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning' bike
Wow.  Meatloaf must have gone so fast that he flew off into space, straight into the centre of the sun.  I don’t think his insurance company will cover that.

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell
On the sun?  I doubt it.  Perhaps you’re suffering from severe heatstroke.

And the last thing I see is my heart
Still beating
Oh breaking out of my body
And flying away
Like a bat out of hell
I hate it when that happens.  It can be tricky keeping your organs internal when you’re melting on the surface of the sun.

Then I'm dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun
Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike
And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell
And the last thing I see is my heart
Still beating
Still beating
Oh breaking out of my body and flying away
Like a bat out of hell
Like a bat out of hell
Like a bat out of hell
Like a bat out of hell
Like a bat out of hell

To sum up the story here, Meatloaf cheated on a girl named Dawn (who was also a torch) and then started begging for forgiveness.  When she turned him down, he recklessly flung himself into the sun, apparently as an act of suicide.  It’s a tragic love story that we’ve seen a million times before.  Boy meets torch, boy then meets normal girl, boy prefers torch so comes crawling back, torch has moved on, boy leaps into a flaming inferno.  It’s just that old devil called love.