Greetings mammals. This being is sometimes known as the space cowboy. This being is sometimes known as the gangster of love. However, since being exiled to this putrid terrestrial world, this being is often known as Glaxxor The Space Lizard.
In order to prepare humanity for assimilation into our species, this being has been studying human media and deciding upon a conquest strategy that will save as many
egg sacks human lives as possible. To
win over the human body, this being has realised that the inferior human mind
must first be courted. And what terrible
distractions does the human mind enjoy?
After studying the electronic archive of all Earthly endeavour (known as
“Teh Internets”), it is obvious that humans enjoy “memes”. That is why this being has created some epic
winnings with which to cure the human condition. Please enjoy these unsophisticated tropes:
Hahahaha! Mister Bandana is known for his thought-provoking advice. Stomach cavities are the ideal place to nurture your parasitic offspring. The two concepts merge to produce laughable results that will endear your entire species to the concept of becoming walking nurseries for our young. Hahahaha!
It seems that humans love being caught in the middle of sexual procreation by cats. Cats in ceilings watch humans spilling seminal fluid with hilarious results. Think about the comedic potential of a REAL sexy lady watching? Look at the frills on that! While making this image, this being shed at least three layers of skin uncontrollably. Powerfully erotic.
Overfed felines are no laughing matter, yet humans cover their Internets with pictures of their fat cats. This being wonders why humans like to laugh at gratuitous pictures of tasty sub-creatures, but hopes that you will enjoy witnessing this appetising delight.
Humans enjoy sending each other the gyrations of Mr Richard Rolls. However, this being felt that Richard’s lyrics needed a little touching up in order to make grammatical sense. Please enjoy this reworking of a poorly conceived popular song.
Now that the memes have been dispatched, this being believes that the links between our races have become stronger. Now if you would kindly sit still the next time I extend my ovipositor into your belly button, this being will ensure that our species become closer than you could possibly imagine. Toodle ciao!