Everyone and their dog has a plan of action in case the long-awaited zombie apocalypse comes to fruition. It seems that everywhere you turn, people are discussing which supermarkets they'd raid first, what's the best weapon for caving in a zombie's skull, and who they would eat first if they were to turn to the undead side. They discuss this with relish (because human flesh isn't too tasty on it's own), which probably says a lot about our charmed, moddy-coddled lives that we fantasize about the collapse of modern society as if it's an exciting event.
However, while all these chumps are making plans against an invasion which will never occur, I'm busy preparing myself for a much more pertinent threat. I am preparing for the chupacabra invasion.
Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "but Addman, your witty and incredible Blog only serves to compliment your rugged good looks, and I'd like to donate £100 to you". Well, that's gratefully received, if slightly off topic, but you should also be concerned about chupacabras. These goat-sucking beasts of legend may only terrorise Mexican farmers right now, but my own research suggests that chupacabras may become the next big threat to humanity.
|I vant to suck your goats|
Not only that, but chupacabra sightings seem to have dramatically risen since I started to look for them. Before I was aware of the chupacabra menace, I barely ever heard about chupacabras. Then when I wised up and began searching for them online, I came across hundreds of chupacabra stories, which suggests that chupacabras are on the march. Their activities are becoming more lively, and they are visiting more and more mentally disturbed people. A sure sign that the chupacabra apocalypse is nigh.