When sucker MC's try and chump my style, I let 'em know that I'm versatile. You see, I'm a straight up G who's all febreezey on your grill, so I know what hood life is like. Even though I got out of the game, I always remember to give something back to my homies by representing all the gangsters all across the world, in a court of law.
Fo' shizzle. I'm Lil Grizzle, attorney at law, and I'm here to tell you who the best criminal lawyer is. You might thinking it's that hombre Saul Goodman, but it ain't. Are you ready for this? It's me! I was so shocked I asked for a recount, but it came back as me again. And you can take that to the bank!
You been busted by a cop for a drive-by shooting that wasn't your fault? Call now! I'll use my street smarts to make the prosecuting lawyer leave town. For a few extra benjamins, I can persuade some cats in the jury to be sympathetic to your ass. A court of law ain't no different to a turf war.
|The scales of justice, homie|
You been extorting some cat who turns out to be the Prime Minister's son? They got your DNA and prints all over that shit like a scat fetishist's lair in a tornado? I can make it all go away, because I gots connections. Connections that were once clients who owe me favours. Then I'll do the same for them once they get busted. The circle of streetlife continues.
You see, I know all about the legal system. I read up on laws and shit, and lemme tell you, there's some whack-ass stuff in those law books. Did you know that you're legally allowed to shoot a Welshman if he's within the city walls after midnight? It's an ancient law that was never repealed. Well I know tons of loopholes like that, so I can get you off scott free. (I do ask though that, if you absolutely, positively have to ice a dude, make sure he's Welsh and it's after midnight. It'll make my life a lot easier.TIA)
Drug charges ain't nuttin' but an easy peasy thang. I'll just find some backwoods corner of the globe where those drugs are legal, then fake your birth certificate. Not only do most of my clients avoid an inside stretch, but they also get a free holiday/deportation to said country of origin. No need to thank me.
Sound good? Of course it does, fool! All you gotta do is dial 0800-LIL-GRIZZLE, that's 0800-LIL-GRIZZLE. I operate on a no-win, large-fee basis. Catch you in the dock, suckaaazzzzz!