Song Dissection – Paolo Nutini Edition

Hello and welcome to another edition of our long running song dissection series.  In this edition, we’re going to analyse the latest effort of sunshiney vagrant, Paolo Nutini.  With his new song Scream, Paolo is trying to transform himself from the world’s happiest jazz hobo to the world’s sexiest jazz hobo. Let’s scrutinise the song until it doesn’t mean anything anymore:

How was I to know you’d just come along?

(And funk my life up)

Fair enough.  Someone who is really into funk has found their way into Paolo’s life.  I’ve been waiting for someone to come along and slap bass my life up, but I’ve had little luck on that front.

Lips like they’ve been singing sexed up strawberry songs

(Just funk my life up)

I can’t think of that many sexed up strawberry songs.  Perhaps they are folk songs that local strawberry pickers used to sing to keep their spirits up, and their libidos.

Never heard it coming, thought it’s just another woman

With a shotgun in her hand

(Funk my life up)

Looks like Paolo has had a few encounters with dangerous, shotgun-toting women in the past.  He must be attracted to the daughters of Italian mafia bosses or something.  Maybe even an assassin.  Interestingly, he sounds rather unconcerned about the situation.  “Oh it’s just another woman come to blow my brains out with a shotgun.  Happens every Tuesday.”

She’s the bass, she’s the beat, she’s the rhythm, she’s the band

(Just funk my life up)

And she’s also part of a one-woman band!  Being an assassin must be difficult if you have a bass drum strapped to your back and symbols on your knees.

And the girl, so fine

Makes you wanna scream Hallelujah

Sounds like she’s a vicar too.

Sly hands, spinning webs like silk

Beats are dripping on me, like spider milk

This line is actually rather easy to dissect.  Basically, being the derelict superstar that Paolo Nutini is, he lives in a leaky basement and milks spiders for a living.  It’s a nice little earner that tides him over between albums.  He comes from a long line of spider milkers; it’s been in his family for generations.  Just ask Wikipedia.

And I never heard the warning when I woke up this morning

With my sunshine on a drip

Obviously he doesn’t mean that literally.  There’s no way that you could have sunshine on a drip, as that would be impractical and absurd.  No, “sunshine” in this case is a slang term meaning something else entirely.  He’s actually referring to the tropical drink Sunny Delight.

She’s my rock, she’s my bud, she’s tequila, she’s a trip

She’s also a shape shifter.

And that girl, so fine

Makes you wanna scream Hallelujah

How can I refuse? I’m not fit to chose

(Just funk my life up)

I said the only way I win is the way I lose

(Just funk my life up)

He’s definitely been to Vegas then.

And I never got the script, I unzipped

Got a little bit wet up in my brain

This can happen if you don’t get any excess water out of your ears with a Johnson’s baby bud. Always make sure to clean your ears after bath time.

She’s your church, she’s your sin, she’s atomic,

she’s the oh she’s the rain

And the girl, so fine you wanna scream

Yeah, yeah

She gets me silly, she’s like a trick on me

Hell, I don’t even know her name but yet she sticks to me

Then she should try showering more.  Dirty, sticky girl.

And in the climax she would scream with me

Yeah, she sticks to me

She gets me funny, she doesn’t want none of my money

So I pour it over her like gasoline

Yep, that’s a normal part of the courtship process; the gasoline pouring.  Whenever I want our relationship to move onto the next level, I always make sure to pour diesel all over my girlfriends.  Oddly enough, this usually occurs towards the end of the relationship.

Light a match and then I’m back in my teens

Me and super girl smoking my green

Me and super girl smoking my green

Now he’s cajoling Superman’s daughter into the sinister world of drug abuse.  I doubt it is for medical purposes.  Super Girl never gets sick.

Unload, reload, eyes back swinging,

Sweet thing, knows things, Jeff Beck sings

I think Paolo is a little confused.  His crazed ramblings have more in common with Beck than Jeff Beck.  I’m sure Beck probably wrote a few of these lines for him.

Roundhouse, going down…… Let’s go!

And the girl so fine makes you wanna scream Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Yeah, the girl, so fine, you wanna scream

So to sum up, Paolo Nutini’s life as a spider milker was interrupted by a shapeshifting assassin who came to kill him, but instead they fell in love.  Paolo then tried to pour petrol all over her as a show of commitment, which caused their relationship to break down.  On the rebound, Paolo started a relationship with a superhero’s daughter, and they spent their days getting high on weed and Sunny D.

If that isn’t enough to convince you that all music is worthless, I don’t know what is.