The Science Of The Parody Song

From Weird Al to…well…Weird Al, song parodies are a popular pastime for anyone weird who happens to also be called Al.  The man has created a staggering body of work and has made fun of some of the finest pop songs, from Beat It (Eat It), to Pretty Fly For White Guy (Pretty Fly For A Rabbi).

While these songs may seem like silly nonsense upon first listen, there is a very distinct science behind the creation of a parody song.  The rhymes have to conform to predetermined set of parameters in order to ensure cohesion.  In other words, there are staple words in every song that can be inserted.  As a man of science, with a demented psyche that always tries to think of alternative lyrics to any song I listen to, I have come up with a standard blueprint for any parody song.  These are easy rhyming words along with substitutions, and a few examples on how to use them.  You are welcome to add your own, or create entire songs using my parameters.

YOU -> POO

“You” is a common word that has no end of rhymes, but my favourite for parody purposes is to substitute it with the word “poo”.  This makes Phil Collins songs sound like a German sex den:

“When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do, is take a look at poo, then I’m not so blue”

Or we can go for a power ballad:

“And IIIIIIIIIIIII will always love poooooo!”

The possibilities for this substitution are endless, and always hilarious.  You can make your favourite pop singers sound like scat enthusiasts with minimum effort.

BABY -> GRAVY

To grasp the scope of this one, just think of how many songs there are out there that include the word “baby”.  This is the word of choice for any loved-up pop song.  With this simple switcharoo, you can turn any lovey-dovey ballad into a gastronomic groove.  We all know that food-based parody songs are the best.  Just take this popular Justin Beiber track:

“Gravy, gravy, gravy, ooh!”

Or perhaps a bit of Ace Of Base with their smash hit:

“All that she wants is a little gravy”

Or even a little bit of The Supremes:

“My gravy love, my gravy love”

There are more permutations here than a superhero ensemble.

PIE -> DIE

A lot of musicians are so passionate that they often threaten to die over trivial matters.  While we sometimes wish they would, it can actually provide some amusing song parodies.  Simply switch out “die” for “pie” and watch the whole meaning of the song change shape.  For example take this Bryan Adams song.  Combining this with the earlier YOU->POO switch, we can come up with something quite special:

“Yeah, I would fight for you, I'd lie for poo,
Walk the wire for you, yeah, I'd eat pie for poo.
You know it's true:
Everything I do, oh, I do it for poo.”

Don’t tell me that song parodies aren’t worth fighting for.  Anyway, I’ll hand the reigns over to you, my wonderful readers.  Can you suggest any?