X - X Games Competitor

There’s an ancient proverb from the olden days which I think is still rather pertinent to us today.  It goes “if I die before I wake, at least in heaven I can skate”.  I’m not sure who said it; it was probably one of those old philosophers like Plato or John Lennon.  Whoever said it was basically telling us that heaven is a half pipe, and those who don’t skate are probably going to hell.  That’s why I decided to be the best I could be by becoming an X Game Competitor.

There are lots of events at the X Games, but everyone knows that skateboarding is the best.  I’m rather knowledgeable on skating since I have played Tony Hawks Pro Skater 3 at least 5 times.  My Kickshovel McPopit is a trick that would make The Hawkster shit his cargo shorts if he ever saw it (which he never will because he’s so old that I’m pretty sure he’s dead by now).

So I skated down to the sign up day and attempted to register my entry by grinding across the front desk.  They said they couldn’t accept my submission because I had to fill out a form.  Filling out paperwork is something that the man tries to make us do to take precious time away from skating. I refused to fill out the form, and I ollied my way outta that corporate bullshit centre.

R.I.P Dude

With no X Games to compete in, how was I going to become a pro skater?  Obviously, I would have to set up a new event.  An event with no entrance forms, no interference from the man, and no MTV.
I performed a manual all the way down to my local skate park and started to erect signs for the upcoming “A Games”.  The A stands for Awesome, not Addman, in case you thought I was that vain. The kids at the skate park were quite interested in competing and by the end of the day, I had some pretty decent 13 year olds signed up to compete.

As the day of the A Games drew near, I took my little posse out onto the streets to promote my new event.  There was a parade on the local town (something to do with war veterans or something equally boring) so we decided to add a little excitement to the event by kickflipping over the holly wreaths.  When I did a Grab Back AirThrust and screamed “Suck it bitches!  This is the A Games!” during a minute’s silence, the crowd seemed to turn hostile. 

Several people who were supporters of the man started to chase us, included a few police officers, who tried to taser me.  Due to my sweet skating skills, I managed to escape unhurt.  Several of my follow skaters were caught though.  So many in fact, that I was the only remaining competitor in the A Games.  Still, it feels good to win my first gold medal in a professional event.  I also received £10 prize money that I had in my pocket.  It was a good day all round.