Tuesday, 5 June 2007

Content Update

The latest chapter in the ongoing Miss Linda Mayo Saga. I recieved this today:

Dearest Sir

I am sad to infrom you that we are running out of time. Please send me the details so we can progress these matters.

Best Regards
Miss Linda Mayo.
Well, I was expecting a much longer reply than that! Miss Mayo, you big tease, leaving this little email without so much as referring to mine. What must I do to win your attentions?!

Dear Miss Marmalade

Running out of time? This sounds like serious business! You are very lucky because serious business is my area, and I know exactly what to do when serious business rears it's very serious and business-like head. Did you know I once owned a Serious Business? It was called Serious Businesses Inc. Org. Ltd., and we dealt in many serious matters, me and my eight year old brother, Josh. We helped get the television reception perfect and finally found out what those creaky noises were in the attic. Grandpa had found his way out of the grouting again.

Anyway, back to current matters. In order to sort out this serious business, I recommend that you give me your bank details and telephone numbers immediately. If we deposit the winnings into your bank account, then our enemies, who are totally anticipating our previous plan, will be completely shocked when they break into my bank vault and find that I have removed the money and placed Cerberus, the hell hound, in there (Actually, it's just my Jack Russel with some papier mache dragon heads stuck on his back). You see, our enemies will never expect it, and we'll be over twelve steps ahead in the game of checkmate, whereas they'll be sliding down the snakes until, kerplunk, they wind up in the Library with Professor Plum and Mr. Baker.

Please send me the details I require as soon as possible. I fear the enemy spies may be drawing in already.

Yours Paranoidily,
If I get another reply after that, I'll eat my ears off! So long Miss Mayo, may your delicious name spread through the sandwiches of the world, bringing peace and indigestion to your fellow man.

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