Friday 15 November 2013

Stupid Shit In My Brain

Some of you may have noticed that I often write about childhood. I also often write from a childish perspective, but that is more purile humour than a stylistic choice.

I do this because I have a strange memory. I remember certain segments of my childhood very vividly, and yet, can barely remember what happened yesterday. As such, there's a whole.swathe of stupid shit that sometimes bubbles to the surface of my mind. Most of it has been lost to the sands of time, and people look at me weird if I bring them up. Some folks think I'm making this stuff up, even if we were the same age when it was happening, or even saw it together. It makes me feel a bit perculiar when I remember something so well, and yet someone else cannot. Let's run through a few examples:

Parappa The Rapper

I never even owned this game, yet I can recite many of the words from the opening song. Parappa learns to do karate from a guy called Chop-Chop Master Onion, and here's the opening words from the rap, from memory:

Kick, punch it's all in the mind,
If you want to test me I'm sure you'll find,
That the things I'll teach ya are sure to beat ya,
But nevertheless you'll get a lesson from teacher,




I sing this to myself whenever I chop onions. As I said, I never owned the game and don't know anyone who did own it. However, I remember a friend had a demo for it and I played it once. I must have learned it in that one sitting, then my brain conjures it up when I'm faced with onions.  Bizarre.

Banana Bubbles



Banana bubbles, banana bubbles, the cereal that thinks it's a milkshake.

This is a breakfast cereal that had a very limited run in the early to mid-ninties. Why I remember it or it's jingle is a mystery since I never ate it or even wanted to. I didn't even like banana milkshake, so why is this in my head?  Probably because, even at the tender age of eight I could see this was an abomination.

Big Bad Beetleborgs/VR Troopers



Everyone remembers Power Rangers, especially since they're still going strong today. However, no one seems to remember these poor rip off shows.  I'm pretty sure these were shown during prime time kids TV slots, probably between series of Power Rangers.

Coco Pops

I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops than what?


The Coco Pops jingle is one of those brain bugs that pops to mind whenever I don't have anything else going on in my head.  I must be a slave to Kelloggs or something, since their jingles take residence in my head.  Even that little twinkley thing they do at the end of their adverts makes me want to shout "I'D RATHER HAVE A BOWL OF COCO POPS!"  Also, why do their adverts feature a camp ostrich?

That's all I have time to mention right now, although I'm sure there are loads more I could probably think of.  What about you lot?  Is there anything you distinctly remember that everyone else has forgotten?



22 comments:

  1. That's hilarious. I have the exact same experience with Parappa The Rapper (by the way, does anyone pronounce the last r in "rapper" because if so, it doesn't rhyme, thus negating the very idea of the title. My pronunciation skills were doomed from youth). Who did own that game? And why can't I remember a single elementary school teacher's name, but I too know that opening rap? Sometimes I curse my brain, and by curse, I mean use the voodoo of alcohol to punish it.

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    1. Maybe that's the reason why it didn't get a sequel, because no one bought it. They just played the demo, got it stuck in their mind, then decided that was enough Parappa for one lifetime.

      I mean, can you imagine if you'd played the whole game and had every word of every song rattling around in your head? The human race would physically be unable to learn anything new. Their minds would be filled with useless raps. Civilization would crumble.

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  2. It seems that no one actually owned Parappa The Rapper. My neighbor had a Playstation, and it came with a demo of the game. We hardly ever played it, but the songs were damn catchy. I don't remember the Coco Pops adverts, but I remember the Smacks commercials with that frog that sounded like he smoked 40 packs a day saying, "I dig 'em."

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    1. We don't get Smacks over here, so I'm guessing you guys don't have Coco Pops. Perhaps some sort of cereal cultural exchange is in order. I will bring the Weetabix of my people.

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    2. We have Coco Pops, but I have no idea what a Weetabix is.

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    3. It's the blandest pile of mush available on the market. So naturally, the British public have been buying it in record numbers for over 400 years.

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  3. I never played Parappa the Rapper either but it was something that looked weird as hell to me. I think part of me was actually just too scared to play it. I can't remember the banana things either but I still get a kick out of Coco Pops. I mean, come on, it's cereal that makes milk turn chocolatey. That's just pure magic to me.

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    1. That is true, but I think Weetos turn milk chocolately a lot faster. Weetos are the superior product in my opinion.

      As for Parappa, it was utterly bizarre but I actually think it's really cool. I'm surprised that I never went and bought the full game, the visual style really works for me.

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  4. I too forget most of what happened yesterday, but I have forgot everything that happened before yesterday, so why I am writing this here now I have no idea really it is a sort of a spur of the moment thing.

    Para-what's-it the who? . . . . . No never heard of them and the same is true of Beetlebuds-borgs, but I still eat Coco Pops well I think I do they were there in the cupboard this morning with a sign pointing at them saying THIS IS YOUR BREAKFAST.

    Anyway it is lovely to me you Mr Addman who ever you are...

    WHAT....

    Where am I.

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    1. That's shame you can't remember much. I guess you've forgotten about our little wager the other day. I bet you couldn't drink a whole bottle of bleach without doing permanent damage to your memory. Obviously, I won the bet, so I'll expect a cheque for £50 shortly.

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  5. Your comments are all further proof that no one ever actually owned this game. I sure didn't, but I know that song like the back of my hand. Seriously, who owned this game? And more importantly... why?

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    1. Because they wanted to learn how to be karate experts with Master Onion. I took my new found fighting skills onto the streets, but people didn't attack me in the correct rhythm and I spent two months in traction.

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  6. I am going to have to see if this game is on Amazon or ebay just to see if it is real . . . .

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    1. Oh it's real alright. Isn't the video above proof? Isn't my word good enough?

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    2. Well just every now and again I wonder, but I guess that's because I like to keep my blog to the point and fractal (sorry factual) or do I mean fictional.

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    3. I always take your words as 100% genuine. Your conversations regarding zombies, aliens and pointy sticks always seem legit to me.

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  7. If you cleaned all of the useless information out of your head, you could be genius. Or you could die, cause you need all those brains and such to live.

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    1. Or you could be a dead genius. Maybe that's what happened to Einstein.

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  8. I agree about the Coco Pops. That jingle pops into my head at the most random times and makes me crave Coco Pops, but since I now live in the States, I have to eat Cocoa Krispies instead.

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    1. Cocoa Krispies you say? Does it have a monkey on the front of the box? If not, reject it as a filthy imposter!

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  9. How did I miss out on banana bubbles, they sounds amazing! Coco pops are so good, I nothing but them for 3 weeks in uni once... then I started getting ill and weak x

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    1. Really? I thought Coco Pops contained everything you needed for a balanced diet. Still, three weeks...

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