Friday, 29 July 2011

100th Post Extravaganza

We don't tend to have much to celebrate here at Muppets For Justice. It's very rare that a day goes by where we don't get spat on in the street, or a celebrity publicist sends us a letter bomb in retaliation for something we've written. However, today there shall be cake, for this is the 100th post on this blog!

You may think that 100 posts has been a long time coming, and indeed it has. My update schedule has been a little bit lacking to say the least. But let me assure you, dear reader, that enough material has now been written to last until September at least, with much more currently in the works. You can expect updates at least twice a week (Mondays and Fridays) for the next two months guaranteed. Hopefully, this momentum will allow me to keep on top of things and stick to schedule for much longer than that.

Anyway, since this is an important milestone for this lil' ol' blog, Muppets For Justice has decided to be incredibly self indulgent and has produced an exclusive interview for you. We asked sultry screen starlet, Scarlett Johansson to interview chief writer Addman. For more information, please use your eyes on the words below:

Scarlett: Firstly, I'd like to start by thanking you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be here.

Addman: Not a problem.

Scarlett: Secondly, there's something I'd like to ask you. What kind of name is Addman?

Addman: It's just a nickname. It's something I've used for a long time now-

Scarlett: Makes you sound like numerical supervillain. Anyway, where do you get your inspiration?

Addman: I just try to see the funny side of current events. Occasionally my posts come across as a bit ranty and my political leanings tend to come to the forefront, but mostly it's just a piss take. Nothing on here should be considered to be anything more than tongue-in-cheek.

Scarlett: Is there any subject that is off limits?

Addman: Very few subjects are, although I try to avoid tragedies directly. As such, I won't be making jokes about the Norwegian massacre itself, but the piss poor news coverage and the religious fundamentalist responsible are fair game if you ask me.

Scarlett: What can we expect from Muppets For Justice in the future?

Addman: More of the same, I expect. I know that my writing has a distinctive style, but I hope it doesn't get too samey for some people. There are new topics of discussion cropping up all the time, so I hope we don't cover much of the same ground over and over.

Scarlett: Where is Fort?

Addman: He was last seen leaving a shady establishment, walking gingerly and wearing a latex sailor suit. In all honesty, he's got his own life and I'm still stuck here, trying to be funny on the Internet.

Scarlett: Thank you for your time.

Addman: Thanks. Oh, and I didn't want to be rude, but can you wear a top next time you interview someone? It's rather distracting.

I hope that has been illuminating for you. Anyway, I'll leave you with some posts from yesteryear. These are a small selection of my personal favourites that I'd like to highlight again for anyone who's interested:

Queue Nation - A queue outside a department store takes on a life of it's own.

The Shalom Saga - An Indonesian woman contacts me to get a free trip to England. I string her on for as long as possible (part 2 here).

Pointers On Last Night's Orgy - Constructive criticism for a better orgy.

Top Ten Nazi Superweapons - Interesting read about, well, Nazi superweapons. Written by Fort, this article still brings in a lot of traffic even now.

Thank you one and all. Business returns to normal next Monday.

Thanks go to Lana_Lite for providing Scarlett's questions.

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Muppet Makeover

Muppets For Justice has finally had a makeover! The last layout was so 2007, so welcome to the Muppets For Justice of 2011, with it's sharp lines and serious, black blackness of the future.

It's amazing that I've never had a play around with the layout editor before. When I first started this blog, there wasn't one, so I had to rely on my own unsteady hand and eye-for-anything-other-than-detail. Thanks to Blogger's easy to use interface, I've managed to create something a little sleeker and easier to read (by using most of the standard settings).

Anyway, what do you think? An improvement?

Monday, 25 July 2011

A Tribute To Amy Winehouse

They tried to make her go to rehab. On reflection, it might not have such a bad idea...

On Saturday, Amy Winehouse was discovered dead at her London home. The police have yet to confirm the cause of death, but if we look at the evidence it's safe to rule out several possibilities:

  1. She was too high to have spontaneously commandeered a submarine and tried to recreate the Falklands war by leading a single-handed charge against the Argentinian Navy.
  2. She was too stoned to don a full suit of chain mail and have gone kite flying in the middle of a storm.
  3. She was too baked to have passed herself off as a 16 year old and attended a summer camp in Utoya, Norway.
In all seriousness though, if it turns out to be anything other than a drugs overdose that killed her, people are going to be rather disappointed. A tragic waste of life it may be, but Amy's crack-riddled binges are what took her from a singer to a superstar. The amount of paper consumed to print more pages about her drug abuse has cleared an area of rainforest the size of Kuala Lumpa. She's generated more column inches than a Greek temple.

No doubt you've already heard about Club 27, a growing list of musicians who have died at the exact age of 27. The list includes Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, and a bunch of other inconsequential people. Obviously, the lesson here is to steer clear of drugs until you reach 28, then fill your veins without consequences.

More importantly though, will her music live on? Yes, but only amongst a small minority. Most will probably remember her for the numerous times when she attacked loyal fans. Buying tickets for her shows was like paying to stand in a line of people where one of you is going to get kicked in the nuts, like a ball-crushing version of Russian Roulette. Then there were her wacky parents who perpetuated this cycle of celebrity by urging the public not to buy her music. By this stage, she hadn't released an album for around two years, so there was no danger of that. At the time of her death, it had been nearly 5 years since she released Back To Black, which is an epoch in pop music terms (or a Pop-Epoch, if you will).

However, her influence on the music industry will not be forgotten. Thanks to the success of the Winehouse machine, the way was paved for a rhythmic wave of lady singers such as Adele, Duffy, La Roux and Florence And The Machine. If only they'd emulate Amy's substance abuse too.

So farewell Amy Winehouse, the lady who made laryngitis sound soulful. Thank you for the music, and thank you for giving Sickipedia something to live for.

Life is a losing game