Hello and welcome to another edition of our long running song
dissection series. In this edition, we’re
going to analyse the latest effort of sunshiney vagrant, Paolo Nutini. With his new song Scream, Paolo is trying to
transform himself from the world’s happiest jazz hobo to the world’s sexiest
jazz hobo. Let’s scrutinise the song until it doesn’t mean anything anymore:
How was I to know you’d just come along?
(And funk my life up)
Fair enough.
Someone who is really into funk has found their way into Paolo’s
life. I’ve been waiting for someone to
come along and slap bass my life up, but I’ve had little luck on that front.
Lips like they’ve been singing sexed up strawberry songs
(Just funk my life up)
I can’t think of that many sexed up strawberry
songs. Perhaps they are folk songs that
local strawberry pickers used to sing to keep their spirits up, and their libidos.
Never heard it coming, thought it’s just another woman
With a shotgun in her hand
(Funk my life up)
Looks like Paolo has had a few encounters with dangerous,
shotgun-toting women in the past. He
must be attracted to the daughters of Italian mafia bosses or something. Maybe even an assassin. Interestingly, he sounds rather unconcerned
about the situation. “Oh it’s just
another woman come to blow my brains out with a shotgun. Happens every Tuesday.”
She’s the bass, she’s the beat, she’s the rhythm, she’s
the band
(Just funk my life up)
And she’s also part of a one-woman band! Being an assassin must be difficult if you
have a bass drum strapped to your back and symbols on your knees.
And the girl, so fine
Makes you wanna scream Hallelujah
Sounds like she’s a vicar too.
Sly hands, spinning webs like silk
Beats are dripping on me, like spider milk
This line is actually rather easy to dissect. Basically, being the derelict superstar that
Paolo Nutini is, he lives in a leaky basement and milks spiders for a
living. It’s a nice little earner that
tides him over between albums. He comes
from a long line of spider milkers; it’s been in his family for
generations. Just ask Wikipedia.
And I never heard the warning when I woke up this morning
With my sunshine on a drip
Obviously he doesn’t mean that literally. There’s no way that you could have sunshine
on a drip, as that would be impractical and absurd. No, “sunshine” in this case is a slang term
meaning something else entirely. He’s
actually referring to the tropical drink Sunny Delight.
She’s my rock, she’s my bud, she’s tequila, she’s a trip
She’s also a shape shifter.
And that girl, so fine
Makes you wanna scream Hallelujah
How can I refuse? I’m not fit to chose
(Just funk my life up)
I said the only way I win is the way I lose
(Just funk my life up)
He’s definitely been to Vegas then.
And I never got the script, I unzipped
Got a little bit wet up in my brain
This can happen if you don’t get any excess water out of
your ears with a Johnson’s baby bud. Always make sure to clean your ears after bath time.
She’s your church, she’s your sin, she’s atomic,
she’s the oh she’s the rain
And the girl, so fine you wanna scream
Yeah, yeah
She gets me silly, she’s like a trick on me
Hell, I don’t even know her name but yet she sticks to me
Then she should try showering more. Dirty, sticky girl.
And in the climax she would scream with me
Yeah, she sticks to me
She gets me funny, she doesn’t want none of my money
So I pour it over her like gasoline
Yep, that’s a normal part of the courtship process; the
gasoline pouring. Whenever I want our
relationship to move onto the next level, I always make sure to pour diesel all
over my girlfriends. Oddly enough, this
usually occurs towards the end of the relationship.
Light a match and then I’m back in my teens
Me and super girl smoking my green
Me and super girl smoking my green
Now he’s cajoling Superman’s daughter into the sinister
world of drug abuse. I doubt it is for
medical purposes. Super Girl never gets
sick.
Unload, reload, eyes back swinging,
Sweet thing, knows things, Jeff Beck sings
I think Paolo is a little confused. His crazed ramblings have more in common with
Beck than Jeff Beck. I’m sure Beck probably wrote
a few of these lines for him.
Roundhouse, going down…… Let’s go!
And the girl so fine makes you wanna scream Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Yeah, the girl, so fine, you wanna scream
So to sum up, Paolo Nutini’s life as a spider milker was
interrupted by a shapeshifting assassin who came to kill him, but instead they
fell in love. Paolo then tried to pour
petrol all over her as a show of commitment, which caused their relationship to
break down. On the rebound, Paolo
started a relationship with a superhero’s daughter, and they spent their days
getting high on weed and Sunny D.
If that isn’t enough to convince you that all music is
worthless, I don’t know what is.
