Friday, 20 December 2013

The Best Stuff Of 2013

Hello and welcome to the Muppets For Justice Best Of The Year post, which I have never done before.  Now, 2013 was filled with all sorts of miscellaneous stuff and things, far too many to list.  Some of those things were good, some were bad, and some fell somewhere in between.  But to scrutinise and identify all of these things and stuffs, we’d be here all day and my fingers would be worn down to the skeleton just from typing about it.  To save us all time and copious amounts of blood, I’m just going to talk about the very best things that have existed within the year of 2013.

Best Movie For Excluding Midgets

The Hobbit quite simply has to snag this award.  In a film which should be chock full of parts for the vertically challenged, not a single midget or dwarf was cast, even when most of the cast are supposed to be dwarves.  As an example of how to exclude minorities (some of which could possibly be classed as disabled), The Desolation Of Smaug is a unparalleled, shining beacon of intolerance.  They didn’t cast a real dragon either.

Best Television Moment

In a year which has seen the finale of Breaking Bad, it seems strange to award this to Confessions Of An Alien Abductee, where a woman named Chantelle genuinely believed that she was being abducted by aliens everytime she ate KFC.  As it turned out, she was the most abducted person in Britain, claiming that aliens were moving her cigarettes.

To put that into the context of her beliefs, basically, an alien race evolved over millions upon millions of years, gained sentience, mastered space travel to a point that is deemed physically impossible by human understanding, travelled out in the cosmos to search for intelligent life, found a lone woman in Manchester, then proceeded to move her cigarettes around to annoy her.  That is their entire galactic strategy, to steal fags from people.  Utterly hilarious.

We have travelled the galaxy, for the smooth flavour of Malboro.

Best Awful Celebrity

The winner of the Best Awful Celebrity award for 2013 (and every year) is of course, Piers Morgan.  That’s not just because he’s the smuggest git to ever get his gittish face on TV (although his television shows are horrible exercises in elitist bonhomie), but mainly for his historical actions.  Basically, Piers was a major player in the phone hacking scandal, even admitting to Paxman that he knew how to hack people’s private voicemails and offered to demonstrate.  He also doctored photos of soldiers abusing prisoners in Iraq, just to sell a few papers.

Best Blogger

This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the coveted Best Blogger award.  This goes to the Blogger who has made an outstanding contribution in the field of Blogging.  Bloggers are scored on quality, persistence, and having an obnoxious orange banner at the top of their page.

The results are in…normal, no evidence of autism.  Take that trolls!

Oh, and the award for being the Best Blogger goes to….ADDMAN!

I was so shocked by the outcome that I demanded a recount.  But as it turns out, it came out as me again!

I am so proud to accept this award from myself.  I’d like to thank all of my fellow Bloggers for not being quite as great as me during 2013, and here’s to 2014.  Merry Christmas everyone!


  1. Hello Mr Addman you know that video that you put up, well the aliens have attacked it and it says you can not watch it in your world (sorry your country, but I know they mean world). DAMN these Aliens they are always doing stuff like this, I am just glad I dont smoke, OK I do if placed on a large bonfire by aliens. Here they have nicked my cup of tea now . . . . I had a cup of tea . . . .I want my cup of tea back.

    its OK I found my tea

    Well done on winning the Best Blogger award, I was hoping I might be in with a chance but the judge said.... WHAT ******** ****** you stand no******** chance******** not after that ********* interview you did with me you ******* ******** ********** and the ******* seagulls head in my bed was ******** the last straw.....

    Merry Christmas and I hope 2014 brings many exciting things . . . . . . . such as say an Ebook on Amazon called Muppets for Justice, full of great stories and new material at a great price......

    1. Damn! I can;t find another relevant video either. Perhaps you could move to another country or something, then you'll be able to see it just fine. I think I was working through a proxy when I posted it, hence it seemed okay for me.

  2. Why did nobody tell me about this alien ciggie stealing manc conspiracy? I have been waiting patiently for ages for something to really shout at and then this passes me by. Going to have to search for a viewable copy because this "award winning" blog won't let me see it even though I know manchester like the back of my hand.

    Need to sign off now. Got an appointment at the doctors to check out this wierd thing I've just found on the back of my hand.....

    A-ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahhahahahahahahahaahahhahaahhaahhaahaha... .that's right - I went there!!

    1. Oooo hello Mr H I do know that folk who are abducted by aliens spend a lot of time in caravans, it has been scientifically proved caravans move about more that regular houses, and that says much about the aliens strategy.

    2. Are the aliens intent on wiping out British tourism? First it's the caravans, then tents, then Butlins!

  3. You know, technically I don't think it counts as cheating to give an award to yourself. I was part of an award show where one of the awards was for the best impression of ONE guy. He was bound to win too. I can't believe they didn't cast one actual halfling in Hobbit. They had to. They just had to.

    1. Is Halfling the politically correct term? Becuase I don't imagine they'd really want to be referred to has magical fairytale creatures.

      Mind you, the same can probably be said for the term Dwarf.

  4. Oh, wow, congratulations to you for winning Best Blogger. It was a well fought campaign. I thought you offering full hand-release to the judges was a little much, but some people came to play, you just wanted it more. Also, I love Chantelle. I want to read her blog, I want to be her best friend, because that is a special type of nutty.

    1. Some Bloggers said I went too far when I sexually bribed the judges, but I say that other Bloggers didn't go far enough!

      To be fair, I was the judge, so it wasn't so bad. I only cried twice.

  5. "According to her DNA results, Marie is not an alien." That's greatest start to a video ever.

    And, I was really hoping there would be an award for greatest blog decorated in dreary grayscale, cause I'd certainly be in the running for that. Congrats on the win, though!


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