Wednesday 15 August 2007

This Is A Circle

I had one of the most infuriating sales calls the other day. Usually, although I find these types of calls to be rather annoying, I can make light of the situation by simply acting weird or something. But there was something about this woman and the lack of information she'd give me that went far beyond the normal realms of acceptable. Either, she was the world's worst salesperson, or I was on the recieving end of some poorly concieved prank.

For context, I had just picked up the phone at my parent's house, who have been away on holiday for a while, so I wasn't actually lying in the transcript that follows. The conversation went something like this (written as best I can from memory):

Me: Hello?
Woman: ...*Crackles*...
Me: Hello?
Woman: Hello, is that Mr [Dad's name]?
Me: No, he's on holiday.
Woman: ...*Crackles*...
Me: The whole family are on holiday.
Woman: ...You are not Mr [Dad's name]?
Me: No, I just told you.
Woman: Could I ask who you are?
Me: I'm his son.
Woman: You are his son?
Me: ...Yes.
Woman: ...*Crackles*...
Me: ...
Woman: How old are you?
Me: 21, why?
Woman: And how much do you earn?
Me: None of your business, what is this?
Woman: ...*Crackles*...
Me: What is this call about?
Woman: Sir?
Me: Why are you ringing me?
Woman: ...This is a circle.
Me: A circle? What does that mean?!
Woman: ...
Me: What does a circle entail?
Woman: ...Mortgages?
Me: Mortgages? I don't even own this house! And you haven't even told me who you are.
Woman: ...*Crackles*...
Me: Fuck! *hangs up*

The crackling noises appeared to be some sort of background noise, and wasn't down to a poor telephone line. That basically means she was sat there in silence, which was probably the thing which riled me up about this call the most. She didn't say what company she was from, didn't even give me her name, and she just started to ask me personal questions despite the fact that I didn't own the house.

In retrospect, the circle line she spun me is actually pretty amusing because she was so obviously avoiding the question. I've since found out from talking to Lou's Dad that the call was actually illegal, something to do with selling mortagages over the phone and certain times of the day (he's a financial advisor, so I'll take his word for it), so she'd obviously been told not to give out the company name or her own.

By the end I just gave up and hung up on her. I thought telemarketers were supposed to be talkative, and some would say that speaking is a large part of their job. She really wasn't, and talking to her was like swimming through rusty nails.

Anyway, I must dash, as I have an appointment with my oven and copious amounts of gas. Tally bye!

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