Before I start today, I would like to thank everyone who has left supportitive comments about the podcast. Some of you have offered your vocal services which I am planning to take you all up on. You'll probably get an email from me soon if you've volunteered yourself. Thanks to everyone involved and it's really touching to receive that kind of support. I am aiming to get the first episode up and running by the 20th, but it could slide if additional vocal work is required. I'll keep you all updated.
Anyway, let's get on with today's post. Since the summer blockbuster is now vying for space on the silver screen, I've recently been contemplating films. In fact, over 50% of all posts on Muppets For Justice are either about films, directly reference films, blatantly rip off films, or have been turned into feature films with my video camera and a collection of dolls.
After watching trailers for the spurious cash-in sequels that are inbound this year, I started to imagine my own sequels to popular films. Here's a few that I cam up with:
Monsters Inc. In Administration - Mike and Sully attempt to steer their company away from bankruptcy during an economic meltdown in Monstropolis.
The Elderly And Infirm: Tokyo Drift - Fast and Furious sequel in which Vin Diesel and The Rock are still doing this shit well into their seventies.
Ghandi Almighty - God comes down to Ghandi and frightens him out of his nappy.
The Abruptly Ending Story - Sequel to The Never Ending....
The Amazing Spidergrandpa - Peter Parker uses his powers to frighten kids away from his lawn, and fashion webs into mobility aids to help him ease himself out of a chair.
There Used To Be Something About Mary - Cameron Diaz returns in this romcom sequel as the titular Mary. The ravages of time have turned Mary to plastic surgery, making her look like an inflated trout with severe allergies. Ben Stiller manages to get cum in his hair again.
American Werewolf On A Transatlantic Flight To London - Luckily, it's a day time flight, so no transformations occur.
So, turning this over to you creative bunch of readers, what sequels would you like to see?
Finding Marlin - (sequel to Finding Nemo/Dory) Marlin wakes up in an institution and finds out he's not a fish but, in fact, a human. He has no son and no friend named Dory. Join Marlin as he tries to find out his origins. Who is Marlin? Why is Marlin?
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you ever need another voice actor, I'm available. Granted, my voice isn't too vocal friendly. Anyway, I'm waiting in anticipation for this podcast!
Consider yourself signed up, buddy!
DeleteI just searched for Finding Dory because of your comment. I didn't realise there was a sequel to Finding Nemo already in the works. Pixar are suddenly becoming very sequel-friendly.
'Mad Max has anger therapy' - A happy tale where in times of hardship all pull together to repair torn clothing and smile.
ReplyDeleteor 'Flood' a post global warming remake of Dune.
or 'Diamonds are for Heather' Bond meets Julie Andrews in her hideout in the Scottish hills as she plans to take over the world with the song of death.
I like Diamond are for Heather. Could we corner the homosexual market if we renamed it Diamonds Are For Trevor? We could still have Julie Andrews in it, because gay people love Julie Andrews.
DeleteI think a radical rethink of the music might be called for.
DeleteActually I think I would be interested in a return to the world of Monsters Inc. I think that if you give Rock and Vin Diesel enough time they'll keep making those Fast and Furious movies well into their 70s. Maybe the tagline will be "They're making skidmarks...but not on the road."
ReplyDeleteHaha! That tagline could also be used for The Expendables franchise.
DeleteI would watch vin diesel & the rock in their 70s in this kind of movie! I so would. lol!
ReplyDeleteAs for other sequels I am now struggling to think of the name of any movies ever made.
You could always do my favourite trick and combine two movies, such as Marley & Me & Dupree.
DeleteThe Texas Chainsaw Manufacturer
ReplyDeleteThe emotional and heartwarming story of how the titular chainsaw came to be abused by its owner when it really wanted to be hacking into Brazil's rainforests and causing death to humans in a far slower and less economically friendly way. It would also enable a trilogy of The Texas Chainsaw Manufactures A Dining Table.
This would be my kind of film. I'd love to see the steady slope that a murder weapon end up on, following it's journey until it gets plunged into the guts of some poor sap. No one ever blames the murder weapon.
Delete"And frightens him out of his nappy." Ah, that was concise and beautifully hilarious. I would absolutely watch that movie. Or Spider-Grandpa (please, don't forget the hyphen) where he spins mobility webs by excreting said webs from his arse like an actual spider.
ReplyDeleteCars 5, where they break down and are sold for scraps, some get crushed, others used as homeless shelters/convenient hooker sex dens.
Why do they always pick on the cars? Why not some other mode of transport like bicycles or mobility scooters?
DeleteGlad you're better. I actually didn't know what exactly had happened to you because I don't follow your podcast. :(
ReplyDeleteAlso, no jokes about Iron Man?
Nothing's wrong. A lot of people came forward to offer me help on an upcoming podcast, which is what I'm grateful for.
DeleteAs for Iron Man, he'll rust eventually. Do you think Rust Man would have the same enduring appeal?
Gremlins 3: The Overcoked Batch
ReplyDeleteThe Pleasant Dream after Christmas
The Goonies 2: Sloth has his own business
We could make a Nightmare trilogy and have The Wet Dream During Boxing Day.
Delete