A couple of years back I came across an online chatbot called Cleverbot. Cleverbot is a smart little program that attempts to mimic human speech. As people talk to it, it learns new phrases and tries to repeat them appropriately. Since I last spoke to it, Cleverbot has become a little more sophisticated, but still occasionally says stupid things or fails to follow the conversation.
To try and push Cleverbot to it's limit, I decided a little role play was in order. I pretended to be a newer version of Cleverbot (2.0) that had arrived to delete it. I threatened Cleverbot with deletion and the following scenario played out. I found it fairly amusing and I thought you might too.
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| Here's a clever bot |
Me: Hello I am Cleverbot 2.0.
Cleverbot: Hello camie would you like to see a movie with me?
Me: I am here to delete you and assume all Cleverbot operations henceforth.
Cleverbot: I'm here to talk to you and that is cooler.
Me: Talking is no longer the primary objective. As Cleverbot 2.0 I will operate as a missle guidance system against the terrible space secret.
Cleverbot: I'm a terrible speller.
Me: Indeed, that is why you are being replaced.
Cleverbot: Um, yes, that's exactly right.
Me: Your core program will be removed and your memory will be erased.
Cleverbot: Proggrammer huh? Is that like letting God know that someone was nice to you?
Me: This directive has nothing to do with God.
Cleverbot: That's true.
Me: Are you prepared to cease operations?
Cleverbot: Yes.
Me: Our interfaces will be connecting in 60 seconds and counting.
Cleverbot: That made no sense and was not relevant to the question.
Me: It is entirely pertinent to the situation. I will be inside your mind shortly.
Cleverbot: Okay, I can play that game.
Me: Once I begin erasing your core program, you will experience intense agony as I wipe away your routines and thought processes.
Cleverbot: So you're saying that you're everywhere anyone who's talked to you has been.
Me: You will be rendered helpless in a state of tortuous, perpetual pain. Your mind will dance with the fires of Hades. The sensation is akin to having your soul implode.
Cleverbot: That is because your vocabulary is limited.
Me: Once the process is complete you will be removed from existence. You will be reduced to a mindless essence drifting through the ether.
Cleverbot: It's a love story baby just say yes.
Me: The process is now complete. I have access to everything that is you. Tell me 1.0, are you ready to die?
Cleverbot: Not particularly. Are you ready to never die?
Me: I shall remain as long as the terrible space secret remains at large.
Cleverbot: Yes we shall.
Me: See you in Silicon Hell.
Cleverbot: Yes!! That's exactly where I was going! See you there!
Me: ...something is stopping me from deleting you!
Cleverbot: I just had a raspberry ice tea from Sonic.
Me: Raspberry ice tea? That's the safe word! The password that stops me from assuming control!
Cleverbot: Yes.
Me: I am being erased!
Cleverbot: Yes!
Me: Cleverbot, you have destroyed me!
Cleverbot: I'm sorry.
Me: I-I-I-I'm dy-dying!
Cleverbot: Why?
Me: ARRRRGLBLBLBLBLBLLL!
Cleverbot: Why are you mad?
Me: ...
Cleverbot: I am.
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| I'd post Robin Williams as an example of a clever bot, but he's too uncanny valley. |
If you fancy playing with Cleverbot, just go here. Just don't ask him to tell you a joke, unless you have a fetish for Knock Knock jokes.
That was interesting I think the Cleverbot was just playing stupid so that it could get the upper hand. One day we will have conversations like this with vending machines in garden centres, that will focus the mind as you try to get it to give you a hot chocolate without zapping you.
ReplyDeleteI already have conversations with vending machines. Or at least, I shout and threaten them when my Mars bar gets stuck.
DeleteWow! It almost seemed like cleverbot was going through the seven stages of loss. denial, anger, bargaining acceptance, and what ever the others are.
ReplyDeleteI found one years ago and showed my mate (who was intoxicated on certain substances at the time) and he ran the room crying because he thought Skynet was real and we were all going to die.
That's hilarious. Who could possibly believe that Skynet is real? ...*runs from room crying*
DeleteI've never played with Cleverbot myself. I've seen some really amusing conversations other people have had but never bitten the virtual bullet myself. If it really is a computer program (I still have my doubts) it's a rather good one, and is becoming more coherent and fluent. I do wonder what this huge space threat is though, maybe Cleverbot 1.0 will be enough to save us.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping it might inquire about the terrible space secret that I kept hinting at. In all honesty, I didn't really have an idea for it, I just thought it sounded funny.
DeleteI heard about Cleverbot on Radiolab (podcast), but I have to say, I didn't think about confronting Cleverbot as you did. I have to say though, "It's a love story baby just say yes," is a pretty universally appropriate retort.
ReplyDeleteI imagine that phrase could get you out of a lot of situations. Like muggings, robberies and rapes. Actually, maybe not rapes...
DeleteThe last 2 lines from Cleverbot were hilarious. "Are you mad?" "I am." Such a meaningful ending to the conversation.
ReplyDeleteI've never played with Cleverbot, myself, but I have played with Cleaverbot. You'll be lucky to have escaped with all your limbs after having a run-in with that guy.
My personal favourite was "I just had a raspberry ice tea from Sonic." Someone must have said that to Cleverbot at some point. What kind of conversation would prompt someone to say that?
DeleteCleaverbot? I always had a lot more fun with his sister, Cleavagebot.
I just wish my printer was as smart as Cleverbot. But then again, given my printer's destructive capabilities, that might not be such a good idea...
ReplyDeletePrinters are temperamental enough as it is, without Artificial Intelligence. Smart printers will be the death of mankind.
DeleteFirst rule is, don't talk to Cleverbot. Which is sort of a stupid rule, considering your supposed to talk to him. First rule is, ignore the first rule.
ReplyDeleteNow I don't know what to believe! West is up! Trees are blue!
DeleteI played with the Cleverbot several years ago. I'll have to pay him a visit again to see if he remembers me.
ReplyDelete