Under normal circumstances, I am a very sunshiney person. I prefer warmer weather, lighter evenings, and generally don’t enjoy rain and cloud. Sunlight alters my disposition, giving me an irrepressible smile. You could attach crocodile clips to my testes, hook me up to a car battery and cook me like a catfish, and I’d still have a grin on my face if it was a sunny day.
There is only one darker weather condition that I do have time for, and that’s fog. Fog instils an alluring sense of mystery to the surrounding world, especially when it’s so thick that you can’t see the person next to you.
I live on a hill, and as such, I am no stranger to fog. For the past week I’ve woken up to fog and gone to bed with fog. Not sexually you understand, as the mechanics of that would be mind boggling, but what I mean is that I tend to live with a lot of fog in my life. I guess it’s rather fortunate that I happen to enjoy it.
It’s fantastic going to work on a foggy day. What’s that inscrutable figure emerging from the gloom? Is it a fellow commuter? Is it a dog? Is it a genetic mutant, freed from the laboratory where it was trained only to rape young, fog-wandering men on their way to work? Your heart begins to pound so fast, it’s creating a samba beat on your rib cage, which is no doubt causing other people in the vicinity to dance, if only you could see them. As you reach said object, you slowly realise that it’s nothing more than a post box, but you feel exhilarated by the whole encounter. This is the magic, mystical world created by fog.
Due to my location, I feel like I dice with death on a daily basis just by walking to the bus stop. It makes me feel like a macho hero, having my bravery tested in this manner. Not that I don’t feel macho on daily basis, you understand. Ah who am I kidding, I don’t feel macho at all. I eat too many carbohydrates for that.
Tomorrow’s weather forecast looks to be more of the same, so I expect yet more fog will envelop my house in the morning. If I don’t make it through the mist monsters tomorrow, let it be known that I love you all. Not in the way that I love fog, but love nonetheless.